Monday, December 31, 2012

My Year

How was 2012 for you? Mine was mediocre with some really great parts, but some really bad parts. Let's start with the bad and get it out of the way.

Overpowering bills. Broken cars. Lost friendships. Arguements with friends. Slight rise in self-consciousness. And the sorts. Those things have brought me down and made me question things in life and the way I was handling things. 

Now.... the good.
1. My daughter is obviously the number one person and happiness in my life. Just a giggle from her can turn my entire day around. She's too cute for her own good. And so much like me it is scary. Terrifying really when I think of her growing up. Help the world. She's gonna take over.

2. New friends. People I just met this year and grew friendships with. Co-workers, Random people. All of them. I'm grateful.

3. Old friends. I have my small group of friends that I love to death. This year I had a friend from the past step in and our friendship got really strong. I am beyond grateful for this person (they know who they are). From three hour phone conversations, to helping me when I was hurt, to talking me down when I was sad... they were always there. If nothing else in 2012 makes me think good thoughts, every single moment I spent with this person is definitely top of my list. I had the best birthday I have in a LONG time. I've learned to relax a lot more and not be so stressed out. I've learned to roll with the punches. I've just learned to be a better me. And it's in large part because of this friend. So you... I know you'll read this (I hope)... Thank you. From the bottom of my heart.

4. 2013 looks great. That has been what has pushed me through 2012 aside from the things above. I am looking forward to 2013 and I plan to take full advantage and make it my year. I'm going to put myself in a better place financially. I've been working on my health (almost three weeks soda free!), getting my sugar under control, working with Vicky to expand and grow AOD. It's gonna be a good one. I can feel it. It's the light at the end of this dark tunnel. I can taste the fresh air already.

So a great year! I learned of some great music this year. Ed Sheeran (Thank you Megs), Matisyahu (Thank you Shawn), and many many more. I hope 2013 is as great as I suspect. You always have to expect some downs... but I am hoping for a lot more ups!

So here is to 2013! Let's do this!

Friday, December 28, 2012

What Men Should Never Say To A Woman

I recently read this article on ChaCha about what you should never say to women... and I think it's funny. So I'm going to break it down and add my opinions on the list.

1. "Don't tell a woman that she can't drive, or that women in general are bad drivers."
Agreed. You look sexist, first of all. Second of all... just because she doesn't drive how YOU want her to, doesn't mean she can't drive. Maybe you make her nervous? Now, if she has wrecked numerous cars or been in one too many fender benders, then yes, maybe she is a bad driver. But if you simply think she drives too fast, or doesn't slow down enough in a curve, or take a route you don't approve of (You know who you are) doesn't mean she is a bad driver. She's just different than you.

2. "Have You Gained Weight?"
It says "Never even imply that a woman is fat. Don't do it, under any circumstances! Not even if:

a. She's bone thin.
b. It's a joke.
c. She really is fat.
d. She just called you fat.

I agree with this as well. Not because I think it's just rude (which it is... whether you are a boy or a girl) but because this does a number on a woman's psyche. Those few words can make a woman enter a downward spiral of binging, throwing up, starving herself, hurting herself, and ruins that confidence you love about them. Men like confident women. Whether they are fat, skinny, pretty, ugly, etc. If you are confident in yourself, it is a good quality that men like (or so I hear).

Plus it's rude. And it would make you an asshole.

3. "I've Dated a Lot of Women."
This can actually go both ways. No woman wants to hear about all the women you have dated, slept with, etc. They don't want to be compared to her. Imagine her feelings when you are like... "Oh yeah this one time my ex did this... God that was the best sex ever." Uh hello! You basically just told your girl that she was mediocre in the sack. Talk about rude. The article states that you should never say something like "Don't worry. I've been with bigger women than you." First of all... HAHAHAHAHAHA! I would laugh in your face. That would be the end of ANY activity we had going on. Second of all, that is like combining 2 & 3 together. Breaking TWO rules in one. And again... it makes you an asshole.

4. "You're Just Like Your Mother."
This may be good SOMETIMES. But other times girls just don't want to hear this. Are you attracted to their mother? Do you want to be with them instead? That is the thought going through her head. OR... if it's a bad quality, then they start picking apart the relationship and what they do and how much it may or may not annoy you. You are just asking for trouble.

5. "You're Just Like My Mother."
Again... don't do this. Do you want to date your mom? No. So don't give her the idea that you are attracted to her because she is like your mother. It's a bit creepy!

6. "She's So Hot."
See, this doesn't bother me that much. We are creatures of passion. We notice things. Like how people look. Girls say "oh he's so hot!" and guys do it too. We are BOTH guilty of this. Maybe if you do it ALL the time, then that could be cut down on a bit. Or if you say things like "I wish you looked like her." Yeah... no. Doing it too much can make a girl insecure and jealous (just like the article says), but it doesn't mean you can't comment ever. We all do it. It's natural.

7. "How Old Are You?"
I don't see the big deal. Maybe I'm not quite to the stage where I'm freaked out by my age, but this doesn't seem like a big deal. The article says if you DO bring it up, guess at least 10 years younger than she probably is. But this can still get you in trouble because she may think you are just being a smartass. Unless you think she's underage... don't ask. And if you think she might be... maybe you should be looking for someone older.

8. "Make Me a Sandwich."
This is hilarious. I have a male friend (Who shall remain nameless) who says that this is his first feeling after sex. They get hungry. Now I do not think women should wait on men all the time, but I think that there are certain ways to ask for this. Don't demand it. Or tell her to do it (the article says this.) Ask her. A simple, "hey babe, can you make me a sandwich?" might get you a long way.

9. "Call Her the Wrong Name."
Yeah... I have nothing to say but... RUN!

10. "Do You Want a Picture of My Junk?"
The article is actually talking about prior to the first date or when you are brand new in a relationship. I agree. You look like an epic creeper and I will run for the hills. That is all.

So yeah... maybe I'll find a list of things women shouldn't say to men and comment on those later!

A Semi New Years Resolution

Alright so I do not typically make New Years resolutions because I think that you are setting yourself up for failure a lot of the time. I also don't think you should only make goals once a year. It should be a constant process to better yourself.

But I have made two kind of resolutions this year.

1. Better financial stability.
I have not had the best luck with finances this year or... oh I don't know... the last eight years. So my goal is to better that. I already have a plan in place and I am just waiting on certain items to happen. This one I am so stoked about that I promise myself that I will make this a constant goal and mission to continue to better my life and that of my daughter.

2. This one is one I just decided on like ten minutes. It's simple really. Not to let things I can not control bother me. I have some things that have affected me in the past kind of control my future. For instance, I have this really bad fear of people leaving. In my opinion, Peyton Sawyer from One Tree Hill had it right. People always leave. In the past decade I'd say... I've had more people come in my life and then leave. After a while you get so tired of it that you stop letting people in. I've been working on breaking down those walls I've kept up for so long and I think over the past year I have gotten a lot better. Unfortunately I still have an emotional breakdown at the sign that someone important in my life is leaving or what not. That is just one of the many things I have to learn to not fear. People leave. People change. Sometimes friendships fail no matter how much you want them to stay. Relationships end. My new favorite quote is "Sometimes the people you can't live without can live without you." And it's so true. You can't control that.

I blame myself for a lot of things. I think I'm excessively difficult to love a lot of the time. I think that I have faults that are sometimes hard to overlook. And I think that a lot of the time that becomes too much for people. I can't change who I am. I can change bad habits and bad qualities that I think need improved on. Typically those things do not change overnight. I think I've been working hard and I don't do things that I use to or sometimes I don't do them as much. I kind of just want to learn to let things go. If someone doesn't want to be with me or be my friend or whatever the scenario, then I have to respect that and let them go. I'm not going to spend my entire life begging people to stay. What sucks is that it hurts sometimes. A lot. And all I feel like doing is crying. Or I have this emptiness in my chest. But from past experience I know that it will fade. It won't ever go away. But it will fade. And life moves on.

So why not move with it. Try to shake things off. Don't sweat the small stuff. Don't stress over things you can not change. You can't change the way others feel if they are set in their mind. Let it go.

So yeah... the second one might take a bit of work... but we shall see.

(P.S. this is not a sign to anyone I am friends with that you should leave me. Nope. Not at all.)

Thursday, December 20, 2012

Signs Your Man Is Cheating.... (really?)

So I recently came across this article called "10 Signs Your Guy is Cheating". Now... as I looked through some of these "signs" I agree with some and I disagree with others. So I thought I would go ahead and break it down for you.

Oh... and here is the LINK to the original article!

1. You're having less sex.
The article states that less sex is a sign that something is wrong in the sack. I partially agree with this. Yes... sex is extremely important in a relationship. One, it keeps the stress down. Two, being able to change it up in the bedroom every so often keeps the relationship interesting. And there are more points, but I'll stop there. Now I will say that sometimes people are just in a bad place and do not want to have sex. If this trend continues for a few weeks... you likely have a problem. But sometimes it's just a funk. Try changing it up.

2. He's done it before
Ok... now I kind of agree with this. The article points out... once a cheater, always a cheater. I feel that they are more likely to do it again. And besides, as a girl... if I knew my ex had cheated on his last girl, I would never be able to trust him. End of story!

3. He Avoids Certain Places
The article says that if your guy always make an excuse as to why you can't go to one place or another, there is likely a good reason behind it. Now, maybe this is just me, but I'd start asking questions after the third time. Once, ok... you don't want to eat there. Twice... ok, was there a bad experience? Three times... What the hell? This does wave a red flag, but it could be that he simply hates it.

4. He needs space!
According to the article, if he makes it clear from the start that he needs excessive space than he is likely making sure he has plenty of time for his "Shenanigans". Here is my thought. If you are dating someone and you enjoy their company. The relationship is going well... then he shouldn't need to set boundaries. In a relationship, you need to understand that being together all the time is going to be overwhelming. Even if you are married. Everyone needs some space. Men need to have men time. Women need to have girl time. Alone time. Whatever. In my opinion, it's all about finding a balance. But one person shouldn't step in and say "we can only talk ten minutes a day and we can only see each other once a week." If you want to hang out you should. And if one doesn't want to very often and that bothers you... maybe you are with the wrong person. Just something to think about.

5. He's secretive about his phone/internet use.
I agree with the articles explanation of this. Everyone should respect the privacy of the other. No matter what. But if you reach for his phone to use the calculator and he snatches it back and freaks out... most likely  there is something on there he doesn't want you to see. I don't think one or the other should go through another's phone/internet usage trying to catch them. That just shows you don't trust them. And if you don't trust them... well then get out of that relationship. Trust and honesty is everything.

6. He Avoids Your Friends
Now... the article states that if he avoids hanging out with your friends at all costs, then he is likely covering his tracks because if he knows your friends then he is more likely to get caught out with another girl. Yes... this COULD be true. Or he just hates your friends. I've seen that too. It may be frustrating but I wouldn't say it means he's cheating.

7. His Grooming Habits Change
HAHA! This makes me laugh. If he goes from being kind of sloppy and scruffy to clean shaven, smelling delicious, and well dressed then you should be worried. This would definitely raise some warning bells in my head. I wouldn't necessarily say that he is cheating, but it would definitely be something to question him with.

8. The Rumor Mill is Buzzing.
Yeah. If you hear people mentioning other women and your man... or rumors that he was at the movies with another female when he told you he was going to bed early... probably a red alert. Check into it. Most definitely. But don't always believe rumors. They could just be jealous women.

9. He's Learned New Tricks!
The article states that if he suddenly starts getting really freaky in the sack on things he has NEVER tried before... he may be learning tricks from other girls. This would make me want to punch him in the throat if this is true. But maybe he is just getting comfortable and has decided it is time to spice it up? I wouldn't say he IS cheating, but it definitely could be a possibility. Have I mentioned he's skeavy? LOL

10. The Physical Signs!
Now these do not lie. If your man smells like another woman. Comes home from "a late night at work" smelling like sex, lipstick on his collar, hickeys on his neck... what the HELL are you doing? Kick his sorry ass to the curb. I don't care if you look like a supermodel or if you are a little less than pretty. You don't deserve that and somebody else WILL appreciate you. Don't sell yourself short.

And THAT is the list of signs your guy (or girl really) are cheating. Some are spot on. Others... I think you could just be paranoid. But whatever!

Friday, December 14, 2012

An appropriate poem for today...

I heard this poem once while watching the movie The Fifth Quarter. I think after watching the news today, this is more than appropriate. RIP little ones.

by Edgar Albert Guest

I will lend you, for a little time,
A child of mind, He said. 
For you to love the while he lives
And mourn for when he's dead.
It may be six or seven years,
Or twenty-two or three.
But will you, till I call him back,
Take care of him for me?
He'll bring his charms to gladden you,
And should this stay be brief.
You'll have his lovely memories,
As solace for your grief.
I cannot promise he will stay,
Since all from earth return.
But there are lessons taught down there, 
I want this child to learn.
I've looked the wide world over,
In search for teachers true.
And from the throngs that crowd life's lanes,
I have selected you.
Now will you give him all your love,
Nor think the labour vain.
Nor hate me when I come
To take him home again?
I fancied that I heard them say,
'Dear Lord. Thy will be done!'
For all the joys Thy child shall bring,
The risk of grief we'll run.
We'll shelter him with tenderness,
We'll love him while we may,
And for the happiness we've known,
Forever grateful stay.
But should the angels call for him,
Much sooner than we've planned.
We'll brave the bitter grief that comes,
And try to understand.

Thursday, December 6, 2012

A few morning thoughts...

So this morning has been an odd one. I had some... random dreams last night. My daughter was oddly cheery, and I'm working an hour early... which is kind of typical.

Here is my thinking. I have a beautiful four year old daughter (almost five in February). I have a job I enjoy; two technically. I have family and great friends surrounding me.

Do you know that phrase "I'm alone in a crowded room." That is the feeling I have this morning.

Now, I'm not complaining about life. It's just an observation. But hear me out. I'm 27. My life is not dependent on getting married or having more kids, but I kind of want it. I'm not looking to rush down the isle, or rush into a relationship right now. I'm just saying I would like the option. And by God there are limited options. I'm that person that decides that I want something or someone and that something never works out or that someone doesn't want me back. Someday I want to be wanted. I don't want to be in a relationship with someone who would rather be somewhere else.

I want someone who loves my kid like their own. I want respect, encouragement, a friend, and a lover. All wrapped into one. I think I'm afraid that I'm going to sit back and watch all of my friends go through the normal life experiences (marriage, children, careers, financial stability, etc) and I'm going to just be sitting by, alone, struggling, and just... stuck. That terrifies me.

Now, I've said it before and I'll say it again. I'm difficult. Unbelievably so sometimes. I'm even surprised by the people in my life who stay. I always say "People always leave" like P. Sawyer in One Tree Hill. The truth is, people always leave because you make it impossible to stay. I don't want to be the crazy cat lady. Partially because I dislike cats. They are cute, but I do not want to own one... or twenty. My four year old asked me today why her daddy had a girl but mommy didn't have a boy. It's pathetic when your kid notices. LOL.

I don't want to rush anything. I don't want to get married now, or even six months from now. I don't even want to rush into a relationship. I have enough things to deal with then the complexities of someone else's life twisted with mine. I just want to know... if it's ever going to happen. Is someone ever going to look at me and think, "She's the one." I doubt it. But hey, that's how I think, right? If you don't expect much, you can't get hurt.

I'm trying to balance the old me with the new me. The new me gets emotional and attached and therefore hurt. The old me didn't give a fuck. I didn't care enough or have any expectations, so therefore when someone disappointed me, it didn't hit me as hard as it does now. I didn't care enough. There has to be a happy medium right? A place where you can care, but the minute disappointment peaks around the corner you can slam your doors shut? I might have to try that.

On a side (and totally random note). 7-Eleven has these ridiculous Christmas cups that Will Ferrell designed. And once I thought "These are ridiculous" I felt like an asshole because proceeds go to charity. I suck...

Wednesday, December 5, 2012

I need to simplify life...

So I don't really do the whole New Year's resolution thing. It's just another way to set yourself up for failure. What does it usually entail? I'm going to lose weight. Work out more. Be healthier. Stop drinking soda. Quit smoking. Blah Blah Blah. If you do New Year's resolutions and succeed... you deserve a huge high five and some pretty medal to hang on your wall. It's hard.

BUT... this year I am going to make a life change. And I'm not going to wait until January. I'm going to do it now. I want to simplify my life. It's very vague, so therefore ANY success is a win for me.

I think sometimes people make life way more complicated than it needs to be. You tell yourself you are going to be this chill person and the next thing you know you are stressing out, ripping your hair out, running around like you've lost your head, and so on. That's me. The running around with no head person. I don't want to do that anymore. Life is too short. There are too many great things out there to enjoy.

The first way I want to simplify life is to make sure I think of at least one thing every single day that makes my day worth it. Waking up each morning is a good one. That is a given. Something different every day. What am I thankful for? Why is today a great day, despite anything that may be going wrong?

Second, try not to worry so much. I do this thing where I crawl inside my own head and allow things to build to unnecessary heights. Or I clog my filter and therefore say shit I shouldn't say or really isn't what I'm thinking, but that is the thought that escaped. I don't want to do that anymore. I want to not try and control things that are out of my control. Go with the flow.

Third, simply be thankful for what I have. I have some of the best friends in the world. Sometimes I get crazy and worry that they are going to disappear or something is going to rip us apart, because that is what I have experienced in the past. I don't want to live in the past. I don't want that. I want to just... be. I want to not worry about the "what if's" in life. Those things are what make you think irrational thoughts. What if? Well... if something happens, it is meant to happen. I hope that my small group of amazing friends is forever with me. I hope we get to be friends forever. No matter what. They all know who they are. It would shatter my world if something tore us apart and I don't want that. I love them.

Four, Just fucking relax. I think too much. Seriously. There is always thoughts running in my mind that are very... damaging. LOL. Not in a kill myself sort of way. More of the "what if" I was just talking about. I need to just relax. Let it happen. Life is full of ups and downs. Things are going to happen and it's going to feel like the end of the world. Relationships will begin and end. My heart will be broken on more than one occasion. My chest will get that empty feeling as if a part of me is missing. And no matter how hard it is... I have to realize that one day it will just... stop. I will feel better. It may leave scars emotionally, but that's what make people beautiful. All those scars shape them into the person they are. So it will suck... but it will also get better. And if it doesn't, maybe you should chase after whatever it is you lost. It's obviously meant to be a part of you in some way. Maybe not the way you had hoped, but in some way. I'm not saying you should settle... but take a moment to think. Say it's a person. Would you rather be without them completely or just rearrange your relationship with them? If it's an opportunity missed... maybe that specific one was not suppose to happen, but you shouldn't not chase your dream just because of that one thing. Relax. Let life take you. You aren't in control of it. Fate is. Trust her.

And last (for now), I just want to be happy. I have a beautiful daughter who is the center of my universe. What more could I actually ask for? She's healthy, happy, and well taken care of. I have a roof over my head, food on the table. Sometimes the bills are tight. Or I'm not real sure where gas is coming from for the week. I want to let it go. If I can't change it, I don't want to worry about it at that moment.

Simplify life. Experience things I haven't experienced. Appreciate the things I have and do. Love the people around me, flaws and all, because God knows they love me with all my flaws (I have more than plenty). I'm a difficult person. I'm a difficult person to love I think. For those people who have stuck by my side, even when I have screwed up repeatedly, I thank you. I know some of those screw ups would give full right to walk away and never look back. I would have understood if you had. So thank you so much for sticking around. I promise to actively try to improve myself. Make myself a better person for me, my daughter, and everyone in my life. If I can work on myself, maybe some will love me more. Or new people will come into my life. And maybe I won't end up the cat lady, alone the rest of my life (although... it would be ok if I did. Well... maybe dogs.). Life is short. Don't put up walls stopping yourself from doing things. Whatever happens. Go with the flow. And try not to be too disappointed if everything you ever wanted doesn't come true or happen for you. Cry it out. Shake it off and try and believe that something better will come along.

So yeah... simplify life.

Saturday, December 1, 2012

Amazing Positions


This is amazing. I have a thing for arms though! Strong arms. Yum!


A little clitoral stimulation!


Puts the girl in a bit of control and also lets the guy relax a little. A little... not a ton! BUT... also gives him prime ass grabbing. 

Just a few. Stay tuned for more.

A Little... Oral Exam!

Admit it. You clicked on this blog because of the name? I know... I'm a genius.

Ok... ok. I'll tone down the arrogance. Thank you for tuning in. This late, Saturday night blog is about oral. Mainly, men giving great pleasure to a woman's nether region. Lady bits. A little cunnilingus, if you will.

How many men out there think they give the BEST oral exams? I bet you all raised your hands. It may be true. It may not be true. Who am I to judge without having experienced it. I will tell you this. Orgasm's stemming from this are amazing.

For those who do not know... women tend to orgasm more from oral than from actual sex. And for those who do not know why... stop trying to go down on girls. No, just kidding. It's simply because it's direct stimulation to a women's small bundle of nerves, called her clit. Are we up to speed now?

Giving a girl mind blowing pleasure with oral is not a few thrusts of your tongue and a wiggle back and forth. No no. One... we need technique. You have to know what you are doing. Ask a lesbian. She'll tell you what to do. Girls typically need a little... warming up... before sex. Otherwise sex can be painful, or really hard to reach our orgasm.

Look at it like this. Give her lady bits a kiss. No weird jabbing. Long strokes with your tongue. A little sucking. Maybe even a bit of nibbling. Take a moment to kiss the inside of her thigh. Maybe a slight break to stroke her with your hand. And if you get a little tired, press your tongue flat against her and let her do the work. I guarantee she'll rock her hips against your mouth, if she wasn't already. This is kind of like the equivalent to a girl being on top. Which is another way to give a bit of oral. Let her sit on your face. But that's another time.

Now... the most important thing is to read her body and her reactions. You'll know what she likes by her reactions. Here are a few key points as to her enjoyment.

1. Her breathing: It will pick up. Maybe a gasp here or there.
2. Temperature: Her heart rate will pick up (great cardio) and she will get hot. Maybe a little sweaty. Beads of sweat on her chest. I hear guys like that.
3. Stomach muscles clench: Her body is starting to react on it's own.
4. Grasps at your head and presses it harder into her body.
5. And finally: her body becomes frantic-like. Her rocking hips become uncoordinated. And she becomes... well.. frantic. She's almost there. She may tell you that. Scream your name. Call out to Jesus.

And then it happens. Explosion. With a great orgasm, your vision goes blurry or blacks out for a moment. Her back arches. Fists clench in the sheets, your hair, back of your head, etc. Her thighs tense and likely scissor to your head. And a good "UNFFFFFF..." escapes.

Give yourself a round of applause.

I hope everyone has experienced really good oral. Male or female alike. I have. Have you?

Friday, November 16, 2012

Keep Going

Somewhere... someone said "God only gives you what you can handle." Well... I really hope this is true. Do you ever feel like maybe it's a test to see how far you can be pushed? Right to the breaking point, but never over? Yeah... me too.

This is what I think though. I think we should try and overcome that. If things are going bad... it sucks. I know. I've been there. I AM there. But things will get better.

Say you have money problems. Look around you. Do you have a roof over your head? Some food (maybe not what you are craving, but food none-the-less) in your cupboard? Beautiful children running around? A warm place to sleep? A pillow to rest your head on? If you answered yes to ANY of these... I'd say you are better than some, maybe most.

All you have to do is tell yourself to keep going. Keep pushing forward. Don't stop. Keep going! Because when you least expect it, something will pop up and save the day and you will feel SO much better. Just keep going.

It's the End of the World... What do you do?

I know... it's not REALLY the end of the world. But think about it. What do you think you'd do if it was the end of the world? What if we were all going to simply vanish in December? Would you... go skydiving? Spend every waking moment with your loved ones? Who would you want to kiss? Hug? Shake hands with? I thought this was an interesting question, so I sent my dear friend Lisa (@LisaAODradio) a list of questions for her to answer. So now I will post hers... and mine (with a few comments on hers most likely) and see how she would spend her last days. Lisa's answers will be in Yellow... my comments... Pink! (And my answers!)

Question 1:
Who are five people you'd want to sleep with?
1. Austin Nichols
2. Joe Manganiello (YUM)
3. Alexander Skaarsgard (He has that nerdy thing going for him in real life)
4. Shemar Moore (You can't have him... he's mine.)
5. Michael Stagliano

1. Shemar Moore - He's so.... yum!
2. Tom Felton - He's a tad skinny now, but eh.
3. Kellan Lutz - He smells SO good.
4. Mekhi Phifer - He is sexy. Don't even look at me like that!
5. Tie: Vin Diesel and Tyrese - Just look at both of their arms!

Question 2:
Who are five people you'd want to kiss (But not sleep with)!
1. Blake Lively (Girl on girl!!!)
2. Sophia Bush
3. Rob Buckley
4. Chase Crawford
5. Josh Charles (Who?)

1. Jessica Alba - Epic girl crush!
2. LL Cool J - Need I explain?
3. Lebron James
4. Joe Manganiello - I may not NEED to sleep with him, but I wouldn't say no!)
5. Zac Efron - Sculpted by Jesus!

Question 3:
Who are five people you'd want to meet (in a non-sexual way)?
1. President Obama
2. Patrick Dempsey
3. Liam Neeson
4. Ellen Degeneres
5. Matthew Grey Gubler

1. President Obama - He just seems so cool!
2. Michelle Obama - Again... so cool!
3. J.K. Rowling
4. Lisa Gardner
5. Sean Connery

Question 4:
What are five things you'd want to mark off your bucket list (if you had unlimited means)?
1. New Years Even in Times Square (A bit cold...)
2. Backpack through Europe (Well you sure didn't hold out!)
3. Attend Olympic Games (Uh... if the world ends in December, I think you are out of luck!)
4. Swim with dolphins
5. Attend a Hollywood/NY Movie Premiere

1. Get married! - I know... cliche! In fun.'s words... "Who the fuck wants to die alone?"
2. Skydive - And possibly to avoid some horrific end-of-world death... forget the parachute!
3. Visit England & Italy (Can this be one?)
4. Work a red carpet premiere.
5. Make a difference in someone's life.

Question 6:
Who would you love to push off a cliff?
Lisa: Nicki Minaj (WHAT!? I love her!)

Kristin: If I HAD to... Probably... I don't know. I'd rather watch Karma take a go!

Question 7:
What is the last music you'd want to listen to?
Lisa: 100 Monkeys - NO JUDGING! (To each his own!)
Kristin: Probably a mix of Backstreet Boys and Classical!

Question 8: Which way would you want the world to end? Pick a disaster movie  - 2012, Day After Tomorrow, Dinosaur style (hehe... Lisa is scared of dinosaurs!)
Lisa: 1ST... you're an ass for that last option. 2ND... I'm going with Day After Tomorrow because my ass would light a fire and stick to it like glue!!!!

Kristin: I'd probably agree! Day After Tomorrow. Although I HATE cold! I'd have been wiped out though. I live in Florida. That wave would have taken out Florida easily!

Thursday, October 18, 2012

Strong Women

My dearest cousin, who is more like a sister than anything, sent me this in the form of a text message and it reigns so true. So therefore... I thought I would share it with you all..

She can deal with stress...
and carry heavy burdens.
She smiles when she feels like screaming,
and she sings when she feels like crying.
She cries when she's happy,
and laughs when she's afraid.
Her love is unconditional.
There's only one thing wrong with her.
She forgets what she's worth!

So taking this information into account... I challenge you all! Find a woman in your life... it can be your mom, sister, significant other, friend, whatever. Tell her how much she is loved and how much she means to you. The love should go both ways, and she should tell you how important and loved you are to her. But start it. Let her know she matters.

Signing out!


Wednesday, October 17, 2012

It's Not Like the Movies

I shouldn't say life isn't like the movies at all. I guess it is sometimes, in some aspects. But fairy tales do not exist in real life. That is the reality of it. Disney teaches kids that they will grow up and find their prince or princess and live happily ever after. Life isn't that simple.

What you have to realize is that you are your own worst enemy. Heartbreak can only hold you for so long until you decide to start moving forward. Happiness is only good as long as the owner holds onto it. A sliver of darkness can darken that happiness. What I'm trying to say is that we decide our own fate.

Now... for anyone who knows me, they can tell you that I have some shit luck. Bad things happen, usually in groups. But... there is always a light at the end of the tunnel. So every time something bad happens, all I can think is... just a little bit farther.

There have been things in life I have wanted... and things that I have not wanted... and sometimes I get what I want, while other times I do not. I've had best friends who would do anything for me and I've had best friends stab me in the back. Boys have come and gone. Jobs start and end. Life continues.

I think for every woman there comes a time when your internal clock gets so freaking loud that you have a hard time ignoring it. It's like... GET MARRIED! HAVE BABIES! WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR! I think my internal clock is ticking, but I'm really good at silencing it for the most part. But it does make you think. I'm 27 (newly). I have a job I do love, a business I put my blood, sweat, and tears into, friends would would do anything for me (I think), a beautiful four year old who brightens my day every time she enters the room, a house, a car, food on the table, music to listen to, family to spend time with.... so therefore... most would say I am doing well. As a girl (or a woman), I can't help but let it cross my mind that I'm not married... I have no possibilities for more kids in the future... Doesn't that make you wonder?

What if I'm broken? Or unwantable? Is that even a word? I don't think so. I don't think I'm that bad of a person. I work hard. I try and rectify the mistakes I made when I was younger. I try and be the best mom I can be. So why doesn't anyone want me? It's a hard question to ask yourself. Now... I'm a bitch. I can be a serious bitch. I tend to want things my way and I have only found one person in my life (opposite sex) that can handle me at my best and worst. Sometimes I question how long he can deal with it to be honest. Aside from that... I do have baggage. It's part of life. Mine might be a bit heavier than some. But it is what it is and I have to live with it. Sometimes I just wish I had someone who wanted to help me bare the load. Someone who is there to say "I'm on your side," when life gets difficult. I feel like people run when things get hard. So instead of sharing my thoughts, fears, etc, I bottle it up and I let it simmer until I can't contain it anymore and I lose it. Tears. Screaming. Whatever the case...

But then I look at my life and realize it's not that bad. It might not be like the movies... but it's pretty good compared to others. And if no man ever decides I'm the one he wants... that's ok too. Because I don't need a man to be happy. I don't want to depend on a man to be happy. It would be nice to have a partner in crime... but I can do it on my own. I've been doing it long enough. So as much as it sucks sometimes... I wipe away the tears, shoulders back, head up, and move forward.

Because ladies.... someday... maybe not tomorrow, next week, or even next year... that guy that you liked so much and you waited for... the one you gave everything to... whatever made him happy... and he decided you weren't the one he wanted. I guarantee he will look back and say "Damn... what was I thinking." So I'm going to hold on to that and all of you should too. You are amazing. You are beautiful. You are intelligent. You are hard working. And you will be missed. Because who can't miss someone that amazing. And as much as it sucks that he didn't realize that sooner... it puts a bit of a smile on your (and my) face to know that one day he's going to look back... and you'll be gone.

People won't wait forever. How's that saying go? One day you'll realize what you had was the best... but the best found better.

Monday, October 1, 2012

Just Smile

Do you ever get that feeling that you are just tired? Not sleepy tired. Just tired. The best way I can describe it is that you get tired of fighting. Tired of struggling. Tired of... everything. Not saying you want to "end it all" because let's be honest... that's a bit extreme. It's that feeling where you feel like you have been fighting for something for so long or trying so hard to be "perfect" and it's just not working. Obviously perfection is impossible to achieve. There is always room for improvement, which is what makes people get better... when they are constantly trying to beat themselves.

I think there are times in life where you just reach a point and you can't try anymore. Not about everything in general. Just certain things. Let's take an example. Say you have been trying so hard to be a really good friend to someone and they keep pushing back. Making you feel like you aren't doing enough or that you aren't enough. After so long you either start to believe it or you just can't fight it anymore. You have no choice but to back off.

I believe that relationships come and go. Not everyone is going to be in your life forever. Not even family. Relationships fall apart so that other ones can come together. Yes... I just posted that quote. But it's so true. Not everything is sunflowers, rainbows, and unicorns. Life sucks. It's going to hurt. People are going to hurt you. Your heart will be broken. You will get betrayed. It's part of life. I tweeted a quote the other day that said something along the lines of 'Pain is inevitable, but suffering is a choice'.

That's not saying you have to just suck it up and deal with it. No tears. No reaction. Sometimes tears are good. It's simply saying that you don't have to let it consume you. I am no stranger to this. There will be relationships in life that end and you feel like the world is over. It's not. There is a reason that relationship never worked out. There are people in my life who use to be really close with me and now we don't speak. Not a day goes by something doesn't remind me of them. But it is what it is. Don't dwell on it. Move on. Embrace what they taught you.

Now if it make you feel better, I will say that I am a believer in the notion that sometimes people don't know what they lost until it is gone. They don't realize how great you are. Or what you have to offer. Everyone has seen that, right? Whether it be an ex that breaks up with you and then suddenly they are all up in your business wanting you back or a friend that is apologizing profusely for talking behind your back. Why? They realized they screwed up and they threw away greatness. Just like there is that person who you let get away... you are that person to somebody. Somebody knows, or will know, how amazing you are after the fact. That may seem sad to a lot of you, myself included, because you want them to see that BEFORE they throw it away. But you are great. You are beautiful. Someone will appreciate it.

You for instance... the one reading this. You are great. I know that. So smile. Just smile.

Friday, August 24, 2012

Weekly Rant!

TOPIC 1: Let me start with some random ramblings. Some of the Colorado victim shooting victims and/or their families have hired Jose Baez to represent them in their civil suit against the movie theater. For those who do not watch the news (or live under a rock), Jose Baez is the one that got Casey Anthony off from murder. You know... Casey "I swear I dropped my kid at the babysitter but miraculously her dead body popped up a mile from my house" Anthony. Let's not even get me started on that case. So anyway, they are suing the movie theater. Because... you know... it was CLEARLY the movie theaters fault that some doctoral student who couldn't keep his head in the game went WAY off his rocker and shot up a movie theater. It was there fault that he went out and came back in with a gun. What else would you have liked them to do? He didn't walk through the front door with a machine gun strapped around him and they didn't just waive him in anyway. He went out the emergency exit. Mind you... I guarantee they are going to bring up some stupid thing that says "that door should only be for emergencies". Well duh! But had that door been locked, then someone would be suing the theater for the fact that the emergency exit couldn't be used in the event of a fire. It's not the theaters fault. It's that crazy dude who couldn't handle his life. Sue him. Sue his parents for bad genetics (that wouldn't be right either btw...). But do not sue the movie theater who did everything they could to help. Bad things happen. Sometimes there is nobody else to blame but the single individual who will never see the light of day again. Justice is being served. Suing the theater is not going to bring your brother, father, sister, friend, or child back. They will still be gone. Money might make you feel better for now, but that void is always going to be there. Why ruin the lives of others in the process? I don't get it. I think people are greedy. I don't blame them. I blame grief. It's a bitch.

Moving on...

TOPIC 2: Someone shot up outside the Empire State Building this morning. Some disgruntled worker I guess. Take a freakin zanax! Stop shooting each other! We all want our freedom... and people get so mad when the government talks about changing our gun laws, but we keep going around killing each other! By we... I mean all those crazy people (Not WE as in me and my readers). Seriously, take yoga... meditate... read a book.... listen to calming waves from the ocean... or take your anger out on a punching bag. Do NOT... I repeat DO NOT shoot up strangers in the street! What the hell did they do!?

TOPIC 3: Can we pleeeease stop talking about Kstew and Rpattz. I get it... they broke up. We are sad. Kstew screwed up. She KNOWS! You do not have to remind her every day of her life! I'm certain she is sad enough. People make mistakes. Nobody would care if she wasn't your precious Bella dating the beautiful Edward. The funny thing is that you don't hear about people ripping Sanders. Is that his last name? Rupert, right? I hear so little about him I don't even know if I have his name right. The married man with 2 kids she trotted off with! Why do we not hear about him? It's not like Kstew drugged him and forced him to cheat. He is just as guilty! He is MARRIED! Kristen was in a relationship but he is MARRIED. With KIDS! Come on! How is that not worse!? I'm a firm believer that people can change. Stop bringing up the same shit. Let them heal and try to move on or grow from it.

Until next week...

To Fake a Smile...

There has been so much going on lately that I literally have the urge to scream and pull my hair at the same time. You ever have one of those weeks where it starts out.... God... so fucking good. You literally can not imagine things getting better... and then you go and do something ridiculously stupid and it crumbles around you? Yeah... you know what I mean. Well... to sum up the end of my week, I feel as though I am officially standing on the rubble that once was the perfection of my life. Yeah... that bad.

So we are going to talk about life. My life to be exact. A little back story to start. Life is not always easy. Obviously. I don't have to preach that. I've been in many relationships before. Whether those be actual relationships with men, friendships, or acquaintances. Either way you look at it, some of those blossom and some of them fall apart. There was a time that me and my bestie absolutely hated each other. Now I can't imagine life without her. I'm fairly certain we will ram each other with our wheelchairs later in life. A lot of my relationships in the past have been... horrible. Some were good and then went bad. I don't think I've ever been in a relationship where it was good and ended good. I'm not use to things being good. Every time things get good, I cover my head because I know something is about to fall out of the sky and hit me. The problem with my demented past is that it tends to creep up and ruin things for my future. I make a friend or get in a relationship and things start looking good and bam... before anything bad can happen, I fuck it up. Why? Because I was always trained that if you don't want to watch people leave, you leave first.

I know what you are thinking. This girl is mental! It's very possible. I might need medication or a nice jacket to help hug myself.

Then you meet people (my bestie is one) where you really want it to work out. You really want that relationship to stay a part of your life. So you adapt. It may take a while. You may screw up a few times. You may push so hard that the other person backs up even. The good thing is that sometimes they push back. They want to be in your life as much as you want them to. Sometimes, though, you push a bit too hard and there is nothing you can do but watch it fall apart. Recently, and no I am not going to name names... I pushed a bit too hard I think. And I'm not sure this person is going to push back.

You know that feeling you get when you are so sad. It can be when someone dies, when you break up, when you fight with your friend, argue with your parents, say something mean but not have meant it, whatever. That feeling in your chest where you feel like something is squeezing your heart, and probably your lungs. And you can not shake it. I hate that feeling. I have that feeling.

I want to clarify something to those people who I have shoved in the past, or in my present... I don't do it because I don't want you as a part of my life. It's like this horribly fucked up instinct in my brain that triggers. I would like to believe that I am growing as a person. I've made some adjustments in recent months of my life that I think make me a better person. I've brought people into my life (into meaning where I only let a select few) that make me a better person and make me want to be a better person. So if I shove you away or I do something crazy, know I don't mean it. I'm still working on the programming that makes me do these things. It's a hard habit to break, but I'm working on it. All I ask is that you don't give up on me. I don't love easily and I am damn sure aware that I am not easy to love. So when I do, I love hard. And if it's someone I have let into those inner barriers that I hold so near and dear to protecting myself, and they leave, it's like my breath is taken away. I get so sad. So sad.

I'm fairly good at pretending. I can go to work with a smile on my face, laugh with my coworkers or clients, and pretend like all is right in the world. But all girls know that we are the best at hiding our feelings when we want to. We can put our heart on our sleeve if we want, but if we don't want you to know how we are inside, you will never know.

A dear friend of mine recently told me that the phrase "too good to be true" is a hard one to combat. How are you suppose to win against that? How are you suppose to win someone over who is always thinking that there is something bad right behind the good? I never really looked at it like that. Maybe it's too late now though.

There are people in my life who I am so afraid of losing. I can't help but wonder if there are people who are afraid of losing me.

Friday, August 10, 2012

Do Men Really Listen?

Have you ever been sitting with your guy talking and you ask a question, he doesn't answer, and then turns to you with that dumb look? Yeah, most women have. Is it so hard to pay attention? Someone once tried to tell me that women's voices are at a higher octave than men's brains can comprehend. Sounds like something a man would make up.

Know what else drives me crazy? When you ask a man a question and they answer like this...

Me: Hey, do you want Chinese or Pizza for dinner?
Him: Yeah.
Me: ....

WHAT IS THE MATTER WITH YOU!? It was not a yes or no question. It was a choice that you had to make. And your answer is "yeah"? Could you get more annoying? Just answer the damn question. Pay attention. It is not that hard of a concept.

The funny thing is that they do this so often that you do not think they are EVER listening and then they shock you. You will talk about random stuff, things you want, things you love, etc, etc and you never think they are paying attention. But then.... BUT THEN.... they randomly pull it out of no where. Like... surprise you with a movie you've "Always wanted to see" or show up with a present of your all time favorite snack that you hardly ever get. Little things. It's always little things. Or they point out completely random things you do that you never noticed. So perceptive... yet when you TRY to talk to them they never pay attention.

I'll never understand men. It would be in your best interest to never try too hard to understand them. The mystery is more exciting anyway.


Getting "Old"

Let me start out by saying that I am by no means old. I am mid-twenties.... very soon to be late twenties. Ok... ok... I'm 26 and turning 27 on October 6th (Wish me Happy Birthday!). I had an entire conversation with a friend of mine about what "late" and "mid" twenties entailed. I stand by my opinion that late twenties starts at 27.

Anyway... back on topic. Has anyone ever hit a day where suddenly it occurs to you that you are behind schedule on things? For instance... I'm not married. I'm not even in a serious relationship. I am not on my way to the alter anytime soon. Yet, I can honestly say that if I am going to do that, I'd like to do it by 30. After that I'll feel like I'm a big loser.

Here is the question... Who on earth is going to marry me? Don't get me wrong... I think I'm fantastic. But my opinion is not the one that matters. It literally occurred to me that no matter how much I've already done in my life... I am extremely behind.

So how does one go about moving that forward? I'm not the type to go "look for a husband". That just seems a bit ridiculous. I don't like dating and I pretty much refuse to do it. Going out with complete strangers who could end up being weirdo's of epic proportions... not my idea of a good time. I already know what I want. The question is will I get it. Life says you don't always get what you want. I sure do hope I get it though. Life would be great. Hopefully it will happen. And if not... I suppose I shall sit and cry with my forty cats (I dislike cats). Check back in 3 years to find out if I turned into the cat lady... or if all my dreams (or some of them) came true.

And I'm out...


Tuesday, July 24, 2012

Weekly Rant #1

I've decided to do a weekly rant where I just go on and on about all the things I've read about, seen on TV, heard from friends or social media, and all the other goodies floating around in my brain. Yes, you should be scared. So let's kick this off.

I've come to the conclusion that there are MANY times I should just shut the f*** up. Seriously. I say shit and then it bites me in the ass. If I just shut my mouth then we'd all be good. I should become one of those hermits that don't talk to people. I feel like Murphy's Law was made for me. "If anything can go wrong, it will go wrong." That is my life. I don't mean for things to happen that way, but sometimes it just does. So sue me. I'm human. I screw up... I fall down... I get up... brush myself off... and try again.

Moving on... what the hell is wrong with the Batman dude. That is what I am calling him. I guess he referred to himself as The Joker. Did you see his mugshot? For those of you thinking I've completely gone off my rocker... I'm referring to the dude who shot up the theater in Colorado. What could those people have done to have deserved that? The answer... nothing. That guy was just fucking crazy. I really hope they don't lock him up in some psych ward. Put him in general population in one of those quaint prisons and let the inmates have a go at him. He shot little babies. Not BABIES... but little kids. A six year old. Come on now. Even if he is crazy... he doesn't deserve a padded room with a jacket that makes him hug himself all day long. General population. Go!

Next. I just finished reading Dominique Moceanu's book "Off Balance". I feel a bit bamboozled. I love that girl. I would like to start with that. She is amazing. I loved her in 1995... 1996 when she won the Olympics with the other 6 of the Magnificent 7. I loved her when she worked for a comeback. I love her now. She's a strong woman. But DANG... girl had a hard life. I always thought she had it made, but totally not the truth. I always loved the Karolyi's too... not so much anymore. I know this is one side of the story, but it kind of makes sense. It makes me wonder if the same thing is happening to the girls in London now. That thought is terrifying. Those girls deserve better and I hope they are getting it. P.S. Buy Dominique's book. So good.

I went and got a mani-pedi yesterday. Love those. They make you feel all gooey inside. I did french tip on both my toes and fingers. I've never been a big fan of the french tip on your toes. But I have to admit it looks kind of nice. I kind of feel like I have little fingers as toes... but I'm sure that feeling will pass. Right? LOL. Let's hope.

I think that's about all I have to rant about now. I'm sure I will come up with more soon. If you have an idea for something you want me to write about or want me to share my opinion, let me know. I'm down. Tweet me @KristinAODradio and I'll see what I can do.

 Hugs, kisses, and all that other stuff,


I love Corinne Dekker

Yeah you heard me. I love Corinne Dekker. And not in that weird lesbian way. I'm talking that she's practically my twin way. She posts these amazing (and a lot of the time hysterical) videos online that I just love. I literally almost peed my pants once. It took a lot of clenching power to get it to NOT come out. But seriously... check her out. I've even put one of the videos below. The woman is just absolutely hilarious and probably as real as they come. You don't find them like this normally. So check it. Tell me what you think. And follow her on twitter @CorinneDekker

Monday, July 16, 2012

Sexual Bases

A friend of mine asked me to describe the bases of sex. Well... we all know I am ALL for this, so here it is.

Quick, simple, and to the point.

1st - Kissing. Hopefully with a bit of tongue, nibbling, sucking (on the mouth - get your mind out of the gutter... for a second), etc. A good make-out session could suffice as long as his mouth stays above the shoulders.

2nd - Kissing and touching of the breasts or other erogenous areas of your body. The breasts can be done outside or inside the shirt, but other areas must be fully clothed for this to count as second base and not sliding into third!

3rd - Stroking, rubbing, or oral stimulation of the lady bits (or man parts). Your kissing has definitely escalated past the head... all I'm saying.

4th (HOME RUN) - Do I really need to say it? As Jim Carrey would say, "You stuffed her like a Thanksgiving turkey!". Full on penetration. Sexual Intercourse. Doing the nasty. Banging. Whatever you want to call it... it's done. You are officially a score on the board! Hence the term "you scored!"

Hope that helps. I'm here for your every need. (No touching though. I don't touch strangers. HAHA).


"Dirty Talk He'll Love"

So we all know that I read Cosmo like it's a freakin' bible. If you didn't know that... well then you should scroll back to some of my other beautiful things I've written. They are amazing (toot toot! on my horn). So this one is all about Cosmo's recent article online about "Dirty Talk He'll Love". So I thought I'd comment. What better way to kill time, right?

So here it is... 10 oh so magical things that will make him all the more horny and want to rip your clothes off (or so Cosmo says).

1. "What do you want me to do?"

I'm not against this one. This is actually quite true. Cosmo says "Asking him what he needs from you proves you're open to changing things up." True... but it also shows him that you WANT to please him. Not that you couldn't, but it makes him feel like the one in charge when really, because you have a vagina, he is at your every whim.

2. "You're an amazing kisser."

Again... I approve. I would not necessarily say that exactly, but something along the same lines. This encourages men along because men, as much as they don't like to admit it, need our approval and encouragement in the sack. If they think they are sucking then it will end up sucking. And none of us want that.

3. "Your arms are so sexy."

Cosmo states that "unlike women, guys don't often receive physical compliments, so telling him what you love about his bod is a powerful ego boost - and aphrodisiac." Aside from complimenting them in general... everyone should know (whether you want to or not) that I have this weird obsession with arms. Arms and necks. If you have sexy arms and the perfect neck... we can do the nasty. Seriously... arms are so damn sexy at times. Especially when you can feel the ripple of the muscle. Jesus... OK moving on before I work myself up over here. But yes... thumbs up Cosmo! Good pointer!

4. "I want you."

Now... if you are already mid-foreplay and numerous pieces of your clothing have been thrown across the room, then this is probably a given. Sometimes they want to hear it anyway, so give in. It takes a whole 2 seconds of your time to say it. I recently had a male friend inform me that you know a girl is ready to get down to business when she reaches for the zipper of the male's jeans. That means she is ready for step 2.... or 10... fourth base? What is that? Anyway... it's go time basically.

5. "Put your mouth on my breasts."

I find this a bit odd. I would never say that. I would look at someone funny if they ever said something of that nature to me. Well... if someone came to me and said "Put your mouth on my breasts" I'd have to turn them down anyway. I like men way too much to dip my fingers in the other sides candy dish. No thanks. Either way, commands are nice "touch me", "put your hands on me", etc. But breasts is not a word I'm thinking of as I'm inching my way towards home.

6. "I love the way you fill me up."

Negative. Never gonna happen. Are you kidding? A "You feel so good." might escape my mouth. But "I love the way you fill me up." Not gonna happen. Don't hold your breath. It seems so... porn star-ish. Right? Is it just me? Hopefully he does fill you up... not in an overfull way cuz let's be honest... there is such thing as too big... but in a just right, you want to scream from the friction, sort of way. That we are all for. Fill up... but let's not talk about it.

7. "Oh God."

Oh YES! This one is definitely in my vocabulary during sexy time. Who else to praise for such delicious feelings than God. He did create us after all. He did make it so we are capable of having that feeling when every nerve in your body fires, your stomach muscles clench, your lungs shut down, your toes curl, hands turn into fists full of bedding, skin, etc, and your eyes roll back in your head. What else to yell than "OH GOD!" This gets the Kristin stamp of approval! You could also insert a "F---". That works too.

8. "It feel incredible when you press your penis against me."

This may be true. It may feel incredible when he does this. But that is a long ass sentence to get out when you are in the throws of passion. I'm not even sure my mind would be able to form a full on coherent sentence when it came down to that point in the game. So again, this won't be leaving my mouth anytime... ever. Just yell "Oh God." instead... he'll get the point.

9. "F--- me harder."

Don't lie... you have ALL used this one. You are so unbelievably close to that orgasm and you just want it to get there so you tell him "harder". Maybe not everyone uses the F bomb (I do because it's my favorite word.), but harder, more, faster, Oh God harder (LOL), would work. Anything for a bit more friction to push you over that very high edge.

10. "I love having sex with you."

Cosmo says, "By confirming how incredible intercourse was when you're lying side-by-side afterwards, you reinforce your awesome chemistry and your satisfaction. And because his levels of the bonding hormone oxytocin peak post-sex, he's craving a feeling of closeness and connection." So ladies... this means work that time... just don't be overly clingy emotional. Not all guys like cuddle time after sex. Some just want to collapse into sleep, some eat, some just don't want to be touched, and others want to hold you and stroke your back. Follow his lead. You push the wrong way and I guarantee the "bonding" will come to a screeching halt. I would never say "I love having sex with you", but I may say "That was incredible." or "Damn...", or maybe even "We have GOT to do that again." HAHA. Either way... stroke his male ego the way you probably just stroked his... and tell him how it was. Unless it was bad. Probably not the best idea to say "That was horrible" unless you want a swift kick out the door... probably not quite yet fully clothed.

And that's it. Some are OH so correct and others, not so freaking much. Another little tidbit of information from yours truly. Enjoy! More to come.


Check out Cosmo's original article here!

Thursday, July 12, 2012


You know how guys say "nice guys finish last". That may be true is some cases. but not all cases. There are many girls out there who look for the hot, well built man first. They want the muscles, the good looks, the money, the cars, and all the perks of being "his girl". The thing is, there are plenty of girls who are not all about the looks. In my opinion, the better you are on the inside, the better you look on the outside. You can be the most gorgeous man in the world, but if you have  a shitty personality, then there is the door. I don't want what you are selling.

In my opinion, life is a bit harder for the girl. No offense men, but a majority of you are shallow dicks. If a girl doesn't have a small waist you don't want any. If that girl has a great personality, more power to you. The thing is... we all need love.

I've always been the one that says I don't want to get married and I'm not looking to fall in love (which is typically when it happens, may I point out), but in reality every girls wants a little bit of her own fairy tale. I don't want someone who settles for me, though. I want someone who looks at me and says "that's the one." I'm difficult. I'm beyond difficult. I'm bitchy and bossy and I tend to put up a fight against things even when I know they are right just because I can. I tend to want things my way and I get upset when they aren't. Not many men can handle me or want to handle me.

All I'm saying is that the world has come to be so difficult. What ever happen to getting to know someone and then making a judgement call on to whether you could be with them? What happen to being nice to everyone because you could be being a complete bitch to the man of your dreams (or woman... equality here!) Stop caring what your friends think. Don't not get to know someone because they might not be what your friends want you to bring around.

And my newest lesson... leave everyone out of your shit. It only complicates things. Don't you have enough problems trying to deal with your OWN relationships than to bring other people into yours or put your nose in someone else's? Look at celebrities... the ones that make it are the ones you never hear about in the news!

And end rant...

iPhone Finally Won

Ok... put your angry comments away. I know I've been ranting and raving for years about how fabulous Android is. I still stick by that. They have great phones and I love the system. BUT... with that being said... I recently made the switch to iPhone (because my Android took an epic crap and died), and I have to admit I love it.

(And a shout out to Shawn (@BLaCKThERiPP3R on twitter)... follow him. He's the one that got me hooked and convinced me (after months of arguing) to switch to the iPhone.

When I say love... I mean epic love. I love the battery life. I love the quickness at which it charges when it is dying. I love the apps. I love the look. I love the feel. Sometimes I wish it had a bigger screen, but you can't win them all. I even recently found myself defending iPhone to my best friends boyfriend who wants to buy her an Android instead. Thirty minutes later I caught myself and thought "What has happened to me?" The world is ending... because yes I am an iPhone user and proud of it.

So I apologize to anyone who I said your phone sucked because you previously held an iPhone. I have joined the dark side... and I shall probably never go back. So shoot me...

Wednesday, May 9, 2012

Not Your Call NC...

I'm a bit outraged. North Carolina passed a law that will ban same sex marriages. This law was already in place in North Carolina before, but now it is solidified yet again. To those who voted for this ridiculous law, do you realize what it makes you look like? It makes you look like a bunch of ignorant assholes that feel it is your place to tell others what to believe in.

Isn't their some rule against mixing church and state? What on earth made it the governments right to tell someone who they can love and who they can not love? I'm not a nonreligious person. I have beliefs. I believe in God. I sure as hell hope that me being buried 6 feet under is not the last thing ever. How utterly depressing is that.

I am a firm believer that those without sin should cast the first stone. That is my problem with religious people. I'd say a good 90% of the time... judgement comes from those who live by the "don't judge others because God said so" standards. You can't place a law against marrying someone of the same sex because your bible says so.

Freedom of religion. Remember that? It's a constitutionally guaranteed right. They say banning gay marriage has nothing to do with church, yet the primary reason they say it's wrong is because the bible says so. Let me say this... I've read the bible. I don't believe for a second that God would send you off to the fire pits of hell because you loved someone of the same sex. Honestly... think about that.

How is this any different than discriminating against people of other colors back in the day? Telling a gay person they can't get married is equivalent to telling someone of African American decent that they can't sit at the front of a bus. We see how well that turned out. They say we've grown up since the years of discriminating, but really it just evolved with us. If it's not one thing it's another. We've manage to allow gays to be out in the open in the military. Because apparently before we legalized that, gay people couldn't protect our country, right? The military hasn't fallen since we've righted that. They are still fighting, people are still enlisting, nobody has been killed on the job just because they were standing next to a gay individual.

All I'm saying is that if Sarah wants to marry Suzy... let her. Is it really the end of the world? Is that really the biggest issue we have to face currently? Because I am fairly certain that we have wars going on, a budget in crisis, starving families in our own backyard, and real issues that need attention. Yet here we are wasting our tax dollars arguing about whether or not someone can get married.

Below is a picture of the first gay couple to be wed in New York when they legalized gay marriage.

You're telling me THAT is a threat to mankind?

Flight or Fight?

So it's been quite a while since I've posted anything on here. My posts range from incredibly inappropriate and risque to highly revealing and emotional. This happens to be the second of the two.

I've known for the last five years or so that I have quite the damaged soul and heart from past relationships. I don't typically think too much about it, and I just live my life the way I have these past couple years. I have friends I would do anything for and I have my family, including my beautiful four year old mini-me who likes to terrorize my every waking moment. This is all I need. Or so I thought.

In recent months, it was brought to my attention the actual details of my closed off lifestyle. I keep people behind a very high, sturdy, layered set of walls that protect me from having to feel too much or handle things that have tried to ruin me in the past. I tend to attack when I feel threatened, even if the threat is simply my mind playing tricks on me. And I push away people that don't deserve it, simply out of fear of them getting too close. Those close to me understand that. They happened to get lucky enough to be let on the inside, whether they were there before I put the walls up or they made the effort to climb over. Either way, the set up is quite elaborate and I wasn't ashamed of that. You can't get hurt if you don't let people in. Simple as that.

The problem I am coming to find is that, on occasion, someone comes along and you are convinced to lower those walls. Now, you would think this is a good thing. My anxiety level soars in these instances. For those who know me, you are aware that I say what is on my mind (sometimes without thinking about it first), I'm well known for being 'the bitch' (which I embrace most of the time), and I'm the go to person if you need help with a bully, problem, etc. Emotions don't suit me. I'm really, really bad at emotions. I laugh at funerals for crying out loud. Not intentionally, of course, but something about the level of sadness and emotions flowing at such an event makes my body react in the complete opposite way and I find myself with tears... but of laughter. Tell me that isn't a bit fucked up?

I don't like feeling vulnerable. I don't like crying. In fact, I absolutely hate crying and tend to get angry when I do. But lately, I've let some of my emotions get the better of me. I don't like the feeling of relying on people. Peyton Sawyer (P. Sawyer), on One Tree Hill, said it best. People always leave.  It doesn't matter how much you love them, want them around, show them you care, etc. Sooner or later they leave. The loving, wanting, and caring isn't the part that terrifies me. It's the leaving. I don't handle heartbreak, heartache, or sadness well. Typically when I get in this deep, Flight or Fight becomes the options. Flight is the one that wins. But lately I found that I'm considering the fight option too. That has to show some form of improvement, right? Running can't always be the answer. At the same time, dealing with the consequences and side effects of fighting takes it's toll and I find myself right back at the beginning, wanting to throw up every single wall and build a few extras that I had originally lowered.

It makes you question things. Am I unlovable? Am I really that difficult? Will there ever be someone who is willing to fight for you? Are you worth fighting for?

I think the hardest lesson I've ever learned comes down to this...

Sometimes the people you can't live without, can live without you.

And that is shattering.

Monday, April 16, 2012

Science or Faith?

Professor : You are a Christian, aren’t you, son ?

Student : Yes, sir.

Professor: So, you believe in GOD ?

Student : Absolutely, sir.

Professor : Is GOD good ?

Student : Sure.

Professor: Is GOD all powerful ?

Student : Yes.

Professor: My brother died of cancer even though he prayed to GOD to heal him. Most of us would attempt to help others who are ill. But GOD didn’t. How is this GOD good then? Hmm?

(Student was silent.)

Professor: You can’t answer, can you ? Let’s start again, young fella. Is GOD good?

Student : Yes.

Professor: Is satan good ?

Student : No.

Professor: Where does satan come from ?

Student : From … GOD …

Professor: That’s right. Tell me son, is there evil in this world?

Student : Yes.

Professor: Evil is everywhere, isn’t it ? And GOD did make everything. Correct?

Student : Yes.

Professor: So who created evil ?

(Student did not answer.)

Professor: Is there sickness? Immorality? Hatred? Ugliness? All these terrible things exist in the world, don’t they?

Student : Yes, sir.

Professor: So, who created them ?

(Student had no answer.)

Professor: Science says you have 5 Senses you use to identify and observe the world around you. Tell me, son, have you ever seen GOD?

Student : No, sir.

Professor: Tell us if you have ever heard your GOD?

Student : No , sir.

Professor: Have you ever felt your GOD, tasted your GOD, smelt your GOD? Have you ever had any sensory perception of GOD for that matter?

Student : No, sir. I’m afraid I haven’t.

Professor: Yet you still believe in Him?

Student : Yes.

Professor : According to Empirical, Testable, Demonstrable Protocol, Science says your GOD doesn’t exist. What do you say to that, son?

Student : Nothing. I only have my faith.

Professor: Yes, faith. And that is the problem Science has.

Student : Professor, is there such a thing as heat?

Professor: Yes.

Student : And is there such a thing as cold?

Professor: Yes.

Student : No, sir. There isn’t.

(The lecture theater became very quiet with this turn of events.)

Student : Sir, you can have lots of heat, even more heat, superheat, mega heat, white heat, a little heat or no heat. But we don’t have anything called cold. We can hit 458 degrees below zero which is no heat, but we can’t go any further after that. There is no such thing as cold. Cold is only a word we use to describe the absence of heat. We cannot measure cold. Heat is energy. Cold is not the opposite of heat, sir, just the absence of it.

(There was pin-drop silence in the lecture theater.)

Student : What about darkness, Professor? Is there such a thing as darkness?

Professor: Yes. What is night if there isn’t darkness?

Student : You’re wrong again, sir. Darkness is the absence of something. You can have low light, normal light, bright light, flashing light. But if you have no light constantly, you have nothing and its called darkness, isn’t it? In reality, darkness isn’t. If it is, well you would be able to make darkness darker, wouldn’t you?

Professor: So what is the point you are making, young man ?

Student : Sir, my point is your philosophical premise is flawed.

Professor: Flawed ? Can you explain how?

Student : Sir, you are working on the premise of duality. You argue there is life and then there is death, a good GOD and a bad GOD. You are viewing the concept of GOD as something finite, something we can measure. Sir, Science can’t even explain a thought. It uses electricity and magnetism, but has never seen, much less fully understood either one. To view death as the opposite of life is to be ignorant of the fact that death cannot exist as a substantive thing.

Death is not the opposite of life: just the absence of it. Now tell me, Professor, do you teach your students that they evolved from a monkey?

Professor: If you are referring to the natural evolutionary process, yes, of course, I do.

Student : Have you ever observed evolution with your own eyes, sir?

(The Professor shook his head with a smile, beginning to realize where the argument was going.)

Student : Since no one has ever observed the process of evolution at work and cannot even prove that this process is an on-going endeavor. Are you not teaching your opinion, sir? Are you not a scientist but a preacher?

(The class was in uproar.)

Student : Is there anyone in the class who has ever seen the Professor’s brain?

(The class broke out into laughter. )

Student : Is there anyone here who has ever heard the Professor’s brain, felt it, touched or smelt it? No one appears to have done so. So, according to the established Rules of Empirical, Stable, Demonstrable Protocol, Science says that you have no brain, sir. With all due respect, sir, how do we then trust your lectures, sir?

(The room was silent. The Professor stared at the student, his face unfathomable.)

Professor: I guess you’ll have to take them on faith, son.

Student : That is it sir … Exactly ! The link between man & GOD is FAITH. That is all that keeps things alive and moving.


I believe you have enjoyed the conversation. And if so, you’ll probably want your friends / colleagues to enjoy the same, won’t you?

Forward this to increase their knowledge … or FAITH.

By the way, that student was EINSTEIN.