Thursday, November 25, 2010

World's Weirdest Sex Toys

I had the urge to know what some of the freaks in our world had come up with in the world of sex toys. So I googled it... naturally. Google knows all after all. I was quite amazed by some of the things people come up with. I guess you gotta get it somewhere... right?

1. Artificial Hymen
Yes... you heard me correctly. An artificial hymen. The sex-toy company Gigimodo invented this little thing. Apparently it is to either relive your cherry poppin' moment or to make someone believe you are a virgin. Now why you would want to do EITHER of those things is beyond me... but apparently that is what it is for. It's made of fake blood and a plastic bag. Both of which I just hope and pray will go up into my lady bits... (kidding of course). Either way... this ones a big no for me!

2. Head O' State Obama Sex Toy

When I look at President Obama I do not see something I want to shove up my vadge. I mean, seriously people? That's fucked up even for the best of us. Now make me a Johnny Depp dildo any day, but Obama... no. This even comes in two different colors of Democratic Blue and Presidential Gold for the low price of $34.95.

3. Cup Nude

Now this is just disturbing. When I think of a a cup of noodles... I never would have though... we should make this a sex toy type of thing. but it is. And it even has "Gently Acid Lotion". The word Acid should never be put on your genitals. So this one is a 10 on the weird scale!

4. Hello Kitty Vibrator

This is just wrong. It was first shown as a neck massager, but really... look at it. I want to know how this was suppose to be a neck massager and how they didn't expect all those kinky asian girls to use this another way. It's just disturbing that its hello kitty. Seriously... freaks me out.

5. The Concubine Masturbator

This is quite interesting. It's got everything! Even untamed pubs! The least they could do is make it into a cool little design. But either way, this little device is quite interesting. I have nothing else to say on this matter.

So there are five funny, crazy, and downright weird sex toys. Enjoy this... I did.

Happy Thanksgiving

It's one of those days where you feel the need to tell everyone you are thankful for them. Maybe because its Thanksgiving Day... but I don't think it is necessary to say it. The people that are closest to you don't need to hear it, as you should be showing them in your every day actions, while the ones that don't matter don't matter. I do however wish there were a few other people around today to enjoy the holidays with. My dad for one. Unfortunately he is too far away to be able to spend it with. My family up in Michigan... one of these days I'll get vacation around a holiday and be able to join them. My two grandfathers who unfortunately are no longer here and just have to watch from up above. And a few other choice people who know who they are.

I can tell you that a four day weekend has been very nice so far (only one day in) and I am looking forward to relaxing and just spending some time with the family and my beautiful child through this weekend. To all my friends and family, you mean the world to me and I love you. Now... back to the posts that are inappropriate.

Monday, November 22, 2010

What's that Feeling?

Forbidden. That's the word most people would use in any given situation where you shouldn't want something, but you do, and you have to fight going after it. Life sucks when you find yourself in that situation. Sometimes its just something you want; others it is something you really need. When it comes to a person, is it lust or love? Sometimes those lines blur. What if its someone you have known for a long time? Does that make it different? Can you simply lust after someone you know so well. I wonder. Maybe its just one of those situations where you really want something only because its something you can't have. I've been there. I think every person with a pulse has.

I find myself in a situation where I can't seem to figure out which way is up. I dig myself a hole and instead of trying to climb out I seem to be the one pulling dirt in around me. Do I really want to be stuck? Now, I'm not saying it's love. At least not the can't eat, can't sleep, reach for the stars, world series kind of stuff (It Takes Two reference). But I'm also not saying its not love. It's hard to tell when it's someone so far away. If I could just lay my hand on his chest, hear him say my name, or look into his eyes... I'd know. It may seem silly to think that such a small act could have such a huge response, but its true. It's not rocket science. People try to force things so much, but its all natural. You'll know. If you don't know... then it's not right.

Every part of me is pulling in the direction of right. My chest aches when I think about him, I get butterflies, and I find myself checking my phone to see if he's around. That's not normal for anybody. I find myself trying to avoid people more so than waiting for them. I'll never say it directly to him, but it hurts not knowing. Do you ever get that feeling that you care more so than they do? Because I get that feeling a lot lately.

I'm not stupid... I know I'm setting myself up for failure here. I know that in the end, there is a 95% chance that I will be the one crushed all over again. Yes, I said all over again. Meaning this would not be the first time this said individual tripped me... but last time he didn't catch me. I read a quote not long ago and it kind of fits this situation. Sometimes you have to simply enjoy the fall, even if you know there is nobody there to catch you. Nothing could be more true. I want to enjoy it, but it's hard. I may or may not have shed a tear or two regarding this situation. I won't admit to anything, because I don't cry.

In general, this person means the world to me. I would take a bullet for them in a heartbeat. I will gladly lie through my teeth if it makes their life easier.You know what I mean.... smile and say you're happy for them when really all you want to do is scream for them to pick you. I wish it was that easy. Either way, I'm too far gone to come back now. The thought of him makes me smile, I feel a weight lift off me when I talk to him, and I think he is pretty close to perfect, well... with all his imperfections. We may not get along all the time and we don't always agree on things, but making up is half the fun, right? It all sums up right here... I love him. How exactly? I'll get back to you on that....

Sunday, November 14, 2010

Kama Sutra: The Hot, The Not, and the WTF!

It's been a while, and I thing the only way to make up for it is to post some of the best sexual positions I could find. Some I've tried, Some I've never, and some I'm not sure I would try.... Aw hell, who am I kidding. I'll try it all. So here it is... some of the best!

1. The Tight Squeeze: Now this is fairly basic and I think everyone has tried it at one point or another. The key is to clench and cross. Clench your legs, and cross your ankles. And let the guy go to work. Imagine the stimulation there! Hell yeah!

2. Standing Tiger/Crouching Dragon: Now this just deserves to be on the list because of the name. It is amazing. It's kind of a typical doggie style, but the guy is standing up and you are kneeling on the bed. Sounds like a good time to me. And you have perfect access to your doorbell.

3. Hang Ten: This one seems fairly easy, but I can honestly say, I've never done it. You would be at the perfect angle and still be able to rest your body against your knees. The guy gets the hands on the hips and control, while you can chill and enjoy the feeling. 

4. The Dirty Dangle: This one doesn't seem to do much for me if I may say so. It's suppose to intensify the feeling because of the blood rushing to your head, but it just gives me a headache. We shall see what you guys think.

5. The Couch Canoodle: This one seems fun! It's girl on top, which is always a good change of pace, but bent over backwards to dangle off the bed a bit, causing him to be able to hit all the good spots inside. Yes please!

6. Mover and Shaker: That's right... everyone wants to have sex on a washing machine. The difference with this is that you are not on it... you are over it. You simply lean over and put your body tightly up against it and turn it on while your guy tucks himself up behind you. The stimulation from your guy as well as the vibrations and cycle changes from the washer are sure to blow your mind.

7. Pleasure Pick-Me-Up: Now you have to have one strong guy to pull this off because there is nothing helping him support you. No wall or anything. He is simply holding you up and thrusting away (hopefully). You are literally dangling at his every orgasmic whim. Sounds nice, right?

8. The Lusty Leg Lift: I will give good money to see this in action, because I ain't gonna lie, I can't do it. I am pretty flexible when it comes to sex, but there is no way. This is amazing though, and if I could, I would. Thoughts?

And there they are. A big thanks to Cosmo for being as filthy as ever and I absolutely love it. Until next time... have sex! 

The Nova Echo

As everyone knows, I am a walking, talking advertisement for the band The Nova Echo. You should all know as much about them as possible. They are amazing after all. Not just amazing musicians, but amazing people as well. I haven't had a chance to share this on my blog yet, so I thought I would. This video blew me away. I know what they are capable of (sometimes I have to convince a few of them that they are better than even they think) and I didn't even expect this. So here is their newest (and first) music video for their song Titan, which came out a little over a week ago.

Make sure to check them out online at their Official Website and MySpace as well as their YouTube Page!