Did you ever notice that all your girlfriends always talk about "My guy does this...." or "My guy does that..." and you are like... "No... THIS is what makes my man amazing..."? Well, Cosmo (Yes, it's like a female bible) did a survey and found out what really makes a man good in bed. Here are what some women said.
1. "HE FOCUSES ON YOU"
If a man worries only about himself, you can be sure that the sex is not going to be very good for you. So a man who takes the time to focus on you will make sex amazing. Have you ever had a REALLY hot guy that was HORRIBLE in bed because he was so focused on himself that you barely had any pleasure? Yeah... so guys... pay a little attention and you will rock our world!
2. "HE PAYS ATTENTION"
According to a Cosmo reader, a man who can follow feedback, such as "faster, slower, softer, harder, and so on" will get an orgasm out of a girl. I'm not one to command. Moans and "Oh yes!" can pretty much tell him how he's doing, in my opinion.
3. "HE MAKES YOU FEEL SPECIAL... IN A SEXY WAY"
Cosmo readers basically said that a man who can make you feel like the only woman in the world that can make him feel that way... makes you feel like a million bucks. The sex is that much better if he makes you feel special. You don't want to think about someone else possibly doing a better job.
4. "HE'S IN FOR THE WHOLE EXPERIENCE"
It's not just about having sex... or "two body parts coming together". It's about the whole experience. It's about connecting. Sex where there is a connection between the people (even outside the sack) is so much more pleasurable and fulfilling. The two of you should make it a moment in time that is just between the two of you. A moment where everything else falls away.
5. "HE'S GOT THE GOODS"
Bad kissing? Unable to move his hips properly? All that spoils it. It doesn't matter what kind of personal connection you may have. In my experience, great lips, a decent package, and moves... that about does it.
6. "HE'S KINDA KINKY"
I agree with this. One of my favorite things is when he comes out of no where and surprises you with something. A smack on the ass. A naughty word muttered in your ear. Nibbling. It's all good in my opinion. It doesn't have to be all the time, but an occasional moment spices things up and keeps it interesting.
7. "HE UNDERSTANDS MY BODY"
Ok... I have had experiences where it is clear that the man had NO idea what he was doing. And then I've had the most... amazing sex. It's as if during the act... he knows my body more than me. Things where he does something and you are kind of like... whoa... I didn't know that would happen! So yes... a man who understands what he is doing and understands how your body reacts is definitely a keeper!
8. "HE CAN TAKE FEEDBACK LIKE A CHAMP"
A Cosmo reader says that the guy should be open to suggestions and taking instruction if the girl things it should be done slightly different. No barking orders... again that is a turn off. But simply advising him of things or leading him to what is good... I agree with.
9. "HE STAYS IN THE MOMENT"
Nobody wants a man who reaches for his phone mid thrust because it goes off. If the phone makes a noise... I don't want him to even pretend like he heard it. Feelings should be too heightened to make reaching for the phone a thought in your mind. He needs to stay with you. Concentrate on your body and his.
10. "HE KEEPS DISTRACTIONS TO A MINIMUM"
This goes with #9. Stay in the moment. If something is distracting, eliminate it. Simple as that. Be there.
And there you have it... this is what women want and what makes them think their man is good in bed.
Source: Cosmo
Showing posts with label Love. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Love. Show all posts
Tuesday, February 26, 2013
Male Sex Cravings: What Are They?
Ok... maybe the heading is a bit weird sounding. But this is what I'm talking about.
Cosmo put up an article on their site called "10 Sex Cravings ALL Guys Have".
Now I want to know if it's true. But of course, first I am going to go through and comment on all of them. Because that is what makes this fun. And everyone needs a bit of fun in their lives.
1. "HE WANTS A GIRL WHO CAN TURN HERSELF ON"
Cosmo states that men like a girl that can "rev herself up" instead of always relying on a man to arouse her. And apparently... "A number of women still believe that it's solely a man's job to arouse them." Now, I can understand this. Turning yourself on. Touching yourself even. I do, however, disagree with the fact that their sex expert they asked said it is ok to think about another sexual partner from your past to turn yourself on... and that you should simply not tell your boyfriend that. So basically... you're telling me to think of my ex while I'm in the sack with my current boy toy? No thank you. That is just ASKING for trouble. And it's extremely rude. If you can't get turned on by thinking of your current partner, then maybe you have more of a problem than getting turned on.
2. "HE WANTS SEX TO BE FUN"
Uh... yes! Because who wants boring sex. Laugh. Make noises. Whatever. It shouldn't be THAT serious!
3. "HE WANTS YOU TO DROP HINTS"
Basically men want to know what feels good for you and what they should do more of. But they don't want you "barking orders". I thought this was an obvious. And if you are too shy to tell him what you want... moan or something when it feels really good and he'll do it again!
4. "HE WANTS TO WATCH"
Men are visual... is basically what this is saying. They want to watch what is happening. They want to see themselves disappear into your... nether regions. AND... apparently leaving a little to the imagination is a good thing. They like when you leave a few articles of clothing on. Is this true guys? Share your feedback with me!
5. "HE WANTS YOU TO BE NAUGHTY"
At first I was like... WHAT? But after reading their description... what they mean is that they don't always want the good girl next door. Show him how much you want him. Drop hints. Do little things in public that make him know you want him. Squeeze his thigh. And then when you are in bed and you are about to finish, Cosmo says to "Squeeze his butt or nip at his shoulder". Apparently that's naughty. Who knew...
6. "HE WANTS A 'WOW, WHAT WAS THAT?' EXPERIENCE"
Cosmo says that he wants to remember what just happened. He wants it to be something that he is craving more of after the fact. Do a little trick of your own and have his head spinning. I would hope I don't have any problem with this, but who knows. Find out what you are good at and use it to your advantage. Make him want more!
7. "HE WANTS TO MIX THINGS UP"
Guys get bored easily. We all know that by the look on their face when we start to babble about things he could care less about. Change it up a bit. If you are always doing missionary, change it up... add a little different move position, speed, intensity. My opinion: Things like that make repetitiveness go away. If you are always doing it hard and fast, slow it down a bit. You will never know what position works best for you if you don't try different things.
8. "HE WANTS NOOKY OUT OF NOWHERE"
Cosmo says that when you surprise guys with sex, they are very happy campers. I say... yes. It doesn't even have to be sex. Give them an occasional blow job out of no where. Expect nothing in return. If you only have 30 minutes until you have to leave to be somewhere, have a quicky. Be Spontaneous. Not only will guys like it, but you will too. It gives thrills. Sometimes the best times are when you might get caught or overheard.
9. "HE WANTS TO TAKE YOU"
This one I am not so sure about. I have some guys that want a girl to tell him "harder" or "Faster" or "More!".... which is basically a "Come and get it any way you want" gesture. But I have some guys I know that say NO! They don't need you telling them to go harder. Sometimes concentration for them is key. What do you guys think? Opinions?
10. HE WANTS TO DO NOTHING SOMETIMES"
I can agree with this. It kind of goes with the "Nooky out of Nowhere" category. Sometimes just springing a really good blow job on a guy can mean the difference between an OK day and a FABULOUS day. Put him in a good mood. Plus, they get this look about them where they glance at you occasionally as if they are in awe of you. That's always a good feeling. Sometimes the guy wants to just lay down and let you do all the work. That's fine by me. I find it pleasurable just to watch the man get off.
So yeah....That's what Cosmo says and those are my thoughts. What are your thoughts? Do you agree with all these? Guys let me know by tweeting me at @KristinAODradio or @RealSexTalkBTR. Talk soon!
SOURCE: COSMO
Cosmo put up an article on their site called "10 Sex Cravings ALL Guys Have".
Now I want to know if it's true. But of course, first I am going to go through and comment on all of them. Because that is what makes this fun. And everyone needs a bit of fun in their lives.
1. "HE WANTS A GIRL WHO CAN TURN HERSELF ON"
Cosmo states that men like a girl that can "rev herself up" instead of always relying on a man to arouse her. And apparently... "A number of women still believe that it's solely a man's job to arouse them." Now, I can understand this. Turning yourself on. Touching yourself even. I do, however, disagree with the fact that their sex expert they asked said it is ok to think about another sexual partner from your past to turn yourself on... and that you should simply not tell your boyfriend that. So basically... you're telling me to think of my ex while I'm in the sack with my current boy toy? No thank you. That is just ASKING for trouble. And it's extremely rude. If you can't get turned on by thinking of your current partner, then maybe you have more of a problem than getting turned on.
2. "HE WANTS SEX TO BE FUN"
Uh... yes! Because who wants boring sex. Laugh. Make noises. Whatever. It shouldn't be THAT serious!
3. "HE WANTS YOU TO DROP HINTS"
Basically men want to know what feels good for you and what they should do more of. But they don't want you "barking orders". I thought this was an obvious. And if you are too shy to tell him what you want... moan or something when it feels really good and he'll do it again!
4. "HE WANTS TO WATCH"
Men are visual... is basically what this is saying. They want to watch what is happening. They want to see themselves disappear into your... nether regions. AND... apparently leaving a little to the imagination is a good thing. They like when you leave a few articles of clothing on. Is this true guys? Share your feedback with me!
5. "HE WANTS YOU TO BE NAUGHTY"
At first I was like... WHAT? But after reading their description... what they mean is that they don't always want the good girl next door. Show him how much you want him. Drop hints. Do little things in public that make him know you want him. Squeeze his thigh. And then when you are in bed and you are about to finish, Cosmo says to "Squeeze his butt or nip at his shoulder". Apparently that's naughty. Who knew...
6. "HE WANTS A 'WOW, WHAT WAS THAT?' EXPERIENCE"
Cosmo says that he wants to remember what just happened. He wants it to be something that he is craving more of after the fact. Do a little trick of your own and have his head spinning. I would hope I don't have any problem with this, but who knows. Find out what you are good at and use it to your advantage. Make him want more!
7. "HE WANTS TO MIX THINGS UP"
Guys get bored easily. We all know that by the look on their face when we start to babble about things he could care less about. Change it up a bit. If you are always doing missionary, change it up... add a little different move position, speed, intensity. My opinion: Things like that make repetitiveness go away. If you are always doing it hard and fast, slow it down a bit. You will never know what position works best for you if you don't try different things.
8. "HE WANTS NOOKY OUT OF NOWHERE"
Cosmo says that when you surprise guys with sex, they are very happy campers. I say... yes. It doesn't even have to be sex. Give them an occasional blow job out of no where. Expect nothing in return. If you only have 30 minutes until you have to leave to be somewhere, have a quicky. Be Spontaneous. Not only will guys like it, but you will too. It gives thrills. Sometimes the best times are when you might get caught or overheard.
9. "HE WANTS TO TAKE YOU"
This one I am not so sure about. I have some guys that want a girl to tell him "harder" or "Faster" or "More!".... which is basically a "Come and get it any way you want" gesture. But I have some guys I know that say NO! They don't need you telling them to go harder. Sometimes concentration for them is key. What do you guys think? Opinions?
10. HE WANTS TO DO NOTHING SOMETIMES"
I can agree with this. It kind of goes with the "Nooky out of Nowhere" category. Sometimes just springing a really good blow job on a guy can mean the difference between an OK day and a FABULOUS day. Put him in a good mood. Plus, they get this look about them where they glance at you occasionally as if they are in awe of you. That's always a good feeling. Sometimes the guy wants to just lay down and let you do all the work. That's fine by me. I find it pleasurable just to watch the man get off.
So yeah....That's what Cosmo says and those are my thoughts. What are your thoughts? Do you agree with all these? Guys let me know by tweeting me at @KristinAODradio or @RealSexTalkBTR. Talk soon!
SOURCE: COSMO
How to Love Life
I have noticed more and more lately that I hear people (and I am guilty of this too) talk about the What Ifs of the future. What if I do this and this happens. What if I try this and I fail. What if I fall in love and my heart gets broken.
My response... What if? What is going to happen if you try something new and you hate it? You've learned something about yourself. What if you make a change in your life and you fail? You get up and try again. Make changes and try different things until it does work. What if you fall in love and that person breaks your heart? It's going to happen at some point. Everyone has pain in their life. Everyone suffers heart break at some point.
From someone who has been there... it sucks. I know this. You know this. Hence why you are trying to avoid it. For me, though, all those heart breaks, failures, and attempts were worth it. They teach you things. They teach you things about yourself and what you expect and will take. They teach what you can handle. They teach you about other people and what types of people you want to surround yourself with and which you do not.
You're going to be able to recover. Try things. Don't worry about "What if this relationship fails?" Take charge and TRY! Because thing about it. What if you don't fail? What if that relationship is THE relationship? What if that person is THE person? What if you find something you are amazing at? Meet someone new? Those are memories. I know that not all my friendships, relationships, and attempts and different things in life have gone accordingly to plan. But I appreciate every last one of those experiences. They are memories I can not replace. They are amazing times with amazing people. Don't regret those moments you didn't try!
I enjoy experiences even if I don't expect them to last. You may NEVER get to have that moment again. Grasp it. Embrace it. If you are happy, who cares if it could be heartache later. You are happy now. Don't spoil anything with a "What if..." moment. That What If will come back to bite you.
And regrets are not good. That experience you let pass because you were worried what COULD happen. I've had that event I didn't attend, but I wished I would. That guy I should have admitted my feelings for. Things might be different now had those feelings been admitted all those years ago. But you have to live with those things. So don't let those happen. Embrace life. Love every experience, good and bad. Because even though things may hurt... that pain fades and something amazing comes along.
Love life!
My response... What if? What is going to happen if you try something new and you hate it? You've learned something about yourself. What if you make a change in your life and you fail? You get up and try again. Make changes and try different things until it does work. What if you fall in love and that person breaks your heart? It's going to happen at some point. Everyone has pain in their life. Everyone suffers heart break at some point.
From someone who has been there... it sucks. I know this. You know this. Hence why you are trying to avoid it. For me, though, all those heart breaks, failures, and attempts were worth it. They teach you things. They teach you things about yourself and what you expect and will take. They teach what you can handle. They teach you about other people and what types of people you want to surround yourself with and which you do not.
You're going to be able to recover. Try things. Don't worry about "What if this relationship fails?" Take charge and TRY! Because thing about it. What if you don't fail? What if that relationship is THE relationship? What if that person is THE person? What if you find something you are amazing at? Meet someone new? Those are memories. I know that not all my friendships, relationships, and attempts and different things in life have gone accordingly to plan. But I appreciate every last one of those experiences. They are memories I can not replace. They are amazing times with amazing people. Don't regret those moments you didn't try!
I enjoy experiences even if I don't expect them to last. You may NEVER get to have that moment again. Grasp it. Embrace it. If you are happy, who cares if it could be heartache later. You are happy now. Don't spoil anything with a "What if..." moment. That What If will come back to bite you.
And regrets are not good. That experience you let pass because you were worried what COULD happen. I've had that event I didn't attend, but I wished I would. That guy I should have admitted my feelings for. Things might be different now had those feelings been admitted all those years ago. But you have to live with those things. So don't let those happen. Embrace life. Love every experience, good and bad. Because even though things may hurt... that pain fades and something amazing comes along.
Love life!
Thursday, December 20, 2012
Signs Your Man Is Cheating.... (really?)
So I recently came across this article called "10 Signs Your Guy is Cheating". Now... as I looked through some of these "signs" I agree with some and I disagree with others. So I thought I would go ahead and break it down for you.
Oh... and here is the LINK to the original article!
1. You're having less sex.
The article states that less sex is a sign that something is wrong in the sack. I partially agree with this. Yes... sex is extremely important in a relationship. One, it keeps the stress down. Two, being able to change it up in the bedroom every so often keeps the relationship interesting. And there are more points, but I'll stop there. Now I will say that sometimes people are just in a bad place and do not want to have sex. If this trend continues for a few weeks... you likely have a problem. But sometimes it's just a funk. Try changing it up.
2. He's done it before
Ok... now I kind of agree with this. The article points out... once a cheater, always a cheater. I feel that they are more likely to do it again. And besides, as a girl... if I knew my ex had cheated on his last girl, I would never be able to trust him. End of story!
3. He Avoids Certain Places
The article says that if your guy always make an excuse as to why you can't go to one place or another, there is likely a good reason behind it. Now, maybe this is just me, but I'd start asking questions after the third time. Once, ok... you don't want to eat there. Twice... ok, was there a bad experience? Three times... What the hell? This does wave a red flag, but it could be that he simply hates it.
4. He needs space!
According to the article, if he makes it clear from the start that he needs excessive space than he is likely making sure he has plenty of time for his "Shenanigans". Here is my thought. If you are dating someone and you enjoy their company. The relationship is going well... then he shouldn't need to set boundaries. In a relationship, you need to understand that being together all the time is going to be overwhelming. Even if you are married. Everyone needs some space. Men need to have men time. Women need to have girl time. Alone time. Whatever. In my opinion, it's all about finding a balance. But one person shouldn't step in and say "we can only talk ten minutes a day and we can only see each other once a week." If you want to hang out you should. And if one doesn't want to very often and that bothers you... maybe you are with the wrong person. Just something to think about.
5. He's secretive about his phone/internet use.
I agree with the articles explanation of this. Everyone should respect the privacy of the other. No matter what. But if you reach for his phone to use the calculator and he snatches it back and freaks out... most likely there is something on there he doesn't want you to see. I don't think one or the other should go through another's phone/internet usage trying to catch them. That just shows you don't trust them. And if you don't trust them... well then get out of that relationship. Trust and honesty is everything.
6. He Avoids Your Friends
Now... the article states that if he avoids hanging out with your friends at all costs, then he is likely covering his tracks because if he knows your friends then he is more likely to get caught out with another girl. Yes... this COULD be true. Or he just hates your friends. I've seen that too. It may be frustrating but I wouldn't say it means he's cheating.
7. His Grooming Habits Change
HAHA! This makes me laugh. If he goes from being kind of sloppy and scruffy to clean shaven, smelling delicious, and well dressed then you should be worried. This would definitely raise some warning bells in my head. I wouldn't necessarily say that he is cheating, but it would definitely be something to question him with.
8. The Rumor Mill is Buzzing.
Yeah. If you hear people mentioning other women and your man... or rumors that he was at the movies with another female when he told you he was going to bed early... probably a red alert. Check into it. Most definitely. But don't always believe rumors. They could just be jealous women.
9. He's Learned New Tricks!
The article states that if he suddenly starts getting really freaky in the sack on things he has NEVER tried before... he may be learning tricks from other girls. This would make me want to punch him in the throat if this is true. But maybe he is just getting comfortable and has decided it is time to spice it up? I wouldn't say he IS cheating, but it definitely could be a possibility. Have I mentioned he's skeavy? LOL
10. The Physical Signs!
Now these do not lie. If your man smells like another woman. Comes home from "a late night at work" smelling like sex, lipstick on his collar, hickeys on his neck... what the HELL are you doing? Kick his sorry ass to the curb. I don't care if you look like a supermodel or if you are a little less than pretty. You don't deserve that and somebody else WILL appreciate you. Don't sell yourself short.
And THAT is the list of signs your guy (or girl really) are cheating. Some are spot on. Others... I think you could just be paranoid. But whatever!
Oh... and here is the LINK to the original article!
1. You're having less sex.
The article states that less sex is a sign that something is wrong in the sack. I partially agree with this. Yes... sex is extremely important in a relationship. One, it keeps the stress down. Two, being able to change it up in the bedroom every so often keeps the relationship interesting. And there are more points, but I'll stop there. Now I will say that sometimes people are just in a bad place and do not want to have sex. If this trend continues for a few weeks... you likely have a problem. But sometimes it's just a funk. Try changing it up.
2. He's done it before
Ok... now I kind of agree with this. The article points out... once a cheater, always a cheater. I feel that they are more likely to do it again. And besides, as a girl... if I knew my ex had cheated on his last girl, I would never be able to trust him. End of story!
3. He Avoids Certain Places
The article says that if your guy always make an excuse as to why you can't go to one place or another, there is likely a good reason behind it. Now, maybe this is just me, but I'd start asking questions after the third time. Once, ok... you don't want to eat there. Twice... ok, was there a bad experience? Three times... What the hell? This does wave a red flag, but it could be that he simply hates it.
4. He needs space!
According to the article, if he makes it clear from the start that he needs excessive space than he is likely making sure he has plenty of time for his "Shenanigans". Here is my thought. If you are dating someone and you enjoy their company. The relationship is going well... then he shouldn't need to set boundaries. In a relationship, you need to understand that being together all the time is going to be overwhelming. Even if you are married. Everyone needs some space. Men need to have men time. Women need to have girl time. Alone time. Whatever. In my opinion, it's all about finding a balance. But one person shouldn't step in and say "we can only talk ten minutes a day and we can only see each other once a week." If you want to hang out you should. And if one doesn't want to very often and that bothers you... maybe you are with the wrong person. Just something to think about.
5. He's secretive about his phone/internet use.
I agree with the articles explanation of this. Everyone should respect the privacy of the other. No matter what. But if you reach for his phone to use the calculator and he snatches it back and freaks out... most likely there is something on there he doesn't want you to see. I don't think one or the other should go through another's phone/internet usage trying to catch them. That just shows you don't trust them. And if you don't trust them... well then get out of that relationship. Trust and honesty is everything.
6. He Avoids Your Friends
Now... the article states that if he avoids hanging out with your friends at all costs, then he is likely covering his tracks because if he knows your friends then he is more likely to get caught out with another girl. Yes... this COULD be true. Or he just hates your friends. I've seen that too. It may be frustrating but I wouldn't say it means he's cheating.
7. His Grooming Habits Change
HAHA! This makes me laugh. If he goes from being kind of sloppy and scruffy to clean shaven, smelling delicious, and well dressed then you should be worried. This would definitely raise some warning bells in my head. I wouldn't necessarily say that he is cheating, but it would definitely be something to question him with.
8. The Rumor Mill is Buzzing.
Yeah. If you hear people mentioning other women and your man... or rumors that he was at the movies with another female when he told you he was going to bed early... probably a red alert. Check into it. Most definitely. But don't always believe rumors. They could just be jealous women.
9. He's Learned New Tricks!
The article states that if he suddenly starts getting really freaky in the sack on things he has NEVER tried before... he may be learning tricks from other girls. This would make me want to punch him in the throat if this is true. But maybe he is just getting comfortable and has decided it is time to spice it up? I wouldn't say he IS cheating, but it definitely could be a possibility. Have I mentioned he's skeavy? LOL
10. The Physical Signs!
Now these do not lie. If your man smells like another woman. Comes home from "a late night at work" smelling like sex, lipstick on his collar, hickeys on his neck... what the HELL are you doing? Kick his sorry ass to the curb. I don't care if you look like a supermodel or if you are a little less than pretty. You don't deserve that and somebody else WILL appreciate you. Don't sell yourself short.
And THAT is the list of signs your guy (or girl really) are cheating. Some are spot on. Others... I think you could just be paranoid. But whatever!
Thursday, December 6, 2012
A few morning thoughts...
So this morning has been an odd one. I had some... random dreams last night. My daughter was oddly cheery, and I'm working an hour early... which is kind of typical.
Here is my thinking. I have a beautiful four year old daughter (almost five in February). I have a job I enjoy; two technically. I have family and great friends surrounding me.
Do you know that phrase "I'm alone in a crowded room." That is the feeling I have this morning.
Now, I'm not complaining about life. It's just an observation. But hear me out. I'm 27. My life is not dependent on getting married or having more kids, but I kind of want it. I'm not looking to rush down the isle, or rush into a relationship right now. I'm just saying I would like the option. And by God there are limited options. I'm that person that decides that I want something or someone and that something never works out or that someone doesn't want me back. Someday I want to be wanted. I don't want to be in a relationship with someone who would rather be somewhere else.
I want someone who loves my kid like their own. I want respect, encouragement, a friend, and a lover. All wrapped into one. I think I'm afraid that I'm going to sit back and watch all of my friends go through the normal life experiences (marriage, children, careers, financial stability, etc) and I'm going to just be sitting by, alone, struggling, and just... stuck. That terrifies me.
Now, I've said it before and I'll say it again. I'm difficult. Unbelievably so sometimes. I'm even surprised by the people in my life who stay. I always say "People always leave" like P. Sawyer in One Tree Hill. The truth is, people always leave because you make it impossible to stay. I don't want to be the crazy cat lady. Partially because I dislike cats. They are cute, but I do not want to own one... or twenty. My four year old asked me today why her daddy had a girl but mommy didn't have a boy. It's pathetic when your kid notices. LOL.
I don't want to rush anything. I don't want to get married now, or even six months from now. I don't even want to rush into a relationship. I have enough things to deal with then the complexities of someone else's life twisted with mine. I just want to know... if it's ever going to happen. Is someone ever going to look at me and think, "She's the one." I doubt it. But hey, that's how I think, right? If you don't expect much, you can't get hurt.
I'm trying to balance the old me with the new me. The new me gets emotional and attached and therefore hurt. The old me didn't give a fuck. I didn't care enough or have any expectations, so therefore when someone disappointed me, it didn't hit me as hard as it does now. I didn't care enough. There has to be a happy medium right? A place where you can care, but the minute disappointment peaks around the corner you can slam your doors shut? I might have to try that.
On a side (and totally random note). 7-Eleven has these ridiculous Christmas cups that Will Ferrell designed. And once I thought "These are ridiculous" I felt like an asshole because proceeds go to charity. I suck...
Here is my thinking. I have a beautiful four year old daughter (almost five in February). I have a job I enjoy; two technically. I have family and great friends surrounding me.
Do you know that phrase "I'm alone in a crowded room." That is the feeling I have this morning.
Now, I'm not complaining about life. It's just an observation. But hear me out. I'm 27. My life is not dependent on getting married or having more kids, but I kind of want it. I'm not looking to rush down the isle, or rush into a relationship right now. I'm just saying I would like the option. And by God there are limited options. I'm that person that decides that I want something or someone and that something never works out or that someone doesn't want me back. Someday I want to be wanted. I don't want to be in a relationship with someone who would rather be somewhere else.
I want someone who loves my kid like their own. I want respect, encouragement, a friend, and a lover. All wrapped into one. I think I'm afraid that I'm going to sit back and watch all of my friends go through the normal life experiences (marriage, children, careers, financial stability, etc) and I'm going to just be sitting by, alone, struggling, and just... stuck. That terrifies me.
Now, I've said it before and I'll say it again. I'm difficult. Unbelievably so sometimes. I'm even surprised by the people in my life who stay. I always say "People always leave" like P. Sawyer in One Tree Hill. The truth is, people always leave because you make it impossible to stay. I don't want to be the crazy cat lady. Partially because I dislike cats. They are cute, but I do not want to own one... or twenty. My four year old asked me today why her daddy had a girl but mommy didn't have a boy. It's pathetic when your kid notices. LOL.
I don't want to rush anything. I don't want to get married now, or even six months from now. I don't even want to rush into a relationship. I have enough things to deal with then the complexities of someone else's life twisted with mine. I just want to know... if it's ever going to happen. Is someone ever going to look at me and think, "She's the one." I doubt it. But hey, that's how I think, right? If you don't expect much, you can't get hurt.
I'm trying to balance the old me with the new me. The new me gets emotional and attached and therefore hurt. The old me didn't give a fuck. I didn't care enough or have any expectations, so therefore when someone disappointed me, it didn't hit me as hard as it does now. I didn't care enough. There has to be a happy medium right? A place where you can care, but the minute disappointment peaks around the corner you can slam your doors shut? I might have to try that.
On a side (and totally random note). 7-Eleven has these ridiculous Christmas cups that Will Ferrell designed. And once I thought "These are ridiculous" I felt like an asshole because proceeds go to charity. I suck...
Wednesday, December 5, 2012
I need to simplify life...
So I don't really do the whole New Year's resolution thing. It's just another way to set yourself up for failure. What does it usually entail? I'm going to lose weight. Work out more. Be healthier. Stop drinking soda. Quit smoking. Blah Blah Blah. If you do New Year's resolutions and succeed... you deserve a huge high five and some pretty medal to hang on your wall. It's hard.
BUT... this year I am going to make a life change. And I'm not going to wait until January. I'm going to do it now. I want to simplify my life. It's very vague, so therefore ANY success is a win for me.
I think sometimes people make life way more complicated than it needs to be. You tell yourself you are going to be this chill person and the next thing you know you are stressing out, ripping your hair out, running around like you've lost your head, and so on. That's me. The running around with no head person. I don't want to do that anymore. Life is too short. There are too many great things out there to enjoy.
The first way I want to simplify life is to make sure I think of at least one thing every single day that makes my day worth it. Waking up each morning is a good one. That is a given. Something different every day. What am I thankful for? Why is today a great day, despite anything that may be going wrong?
Second, try not to worry so much. I do this thing where I crawl inside my own head and allow things to build to unnecessary heights. Or I clog my filter and therefore say shit I shouldn't say or really isn't what I'm thinking, but that is the thought that escaped. I don't want to do that anymore. I want to not try and control things that are out of my control. Go with the flow.
Third, simply be thankful for what I have. I have some of the best friends in the world. Sometimes I get crazy and worry that they are going to disappear or something is going to rip us apart, because that is what I have experienced in the past. I don't want to live in the past. I don't want that. I want to just... be. I want to not worry about the "what if's" in life. Those things are what make you think irrational thoughts. What if? Well... if something happens, it is meant to happen. I hope that my small group of amazing friends is forever with me. I hope we get to be friends forever. No matter what. They all know who they are. It would shatter my world if something tore us apart and I don't want that. I love them.
Four, Just fucking relax. I think too much. Seriously. There is always thoughts running in my mind that are very... damaging. LOL. Not in a kill myself sort of way. More of the "what if" I was just talking about. I need to just relax. Let it happen. Life is full of ups and downs. Things are going to happen and it's going to feel like the end of the world. Relationships will begin and end. My heart will be broken on more than one occasion. My chest will get that empty feeling as if a part of me is missing. And no matter how hard it is... I have to realize that one day it will just... stop. I will feel better. It may leave scars emotionally, but that's what make people beautiful. All those scars shape them into the person they are. So it will suck... but it will also get better. And if it doesn't, maybe you should chase after whatever it is you lost. It's obviously meant to be a part of you in some way. Maybe not the way you had hoped, but in some way. I'm not saying you should settle... but take a moment to think. Say it's a person. Would you rather be without them completely or just rearrange your relationship with them? If it's an opportunity missed... maybe that specific one was not suppose to happen, but you shouldn't not chase your dream just because of that one thing. Relax. Let life take you. You aren't in control of it. Fate is. Trust her.
And last (for now), I just want to be happy. I have a beautiful daughter who is the center of my universe. What more could I actually ask for? She's healthy, happy, and well taken care of. I have a roof over my head, food on the table. Sometimes the bills are tight. Or I'm not real sure where gas is coming from for the week. I want to let it go. If I can't change it, I don't want to worry about it at that moment.
Simplify life. Experience things I haven't experienced. Appreciate the things I have and do. Love the people around me, flaws and all, because God knows they love me with all my flaws (I have more than plenty). I'm a difficult person. I'm a difficult person to love I think. For those people who have stuck by my side, even when I have screwed up repeatedly, I thank you. I know some of those screw ups would give full right to walk away and never look back. I would have understood if you had. So thank you so much for sticking around. I promise to actively try to improve myself. Make myself a better person for me, my daughter, and everyone in my life. If I can work on myself, maybe some will love me more. Or new people will come into my life. And maybe I won't end up the cat lady, alone the rest of my life (although... it would be ok if I did. Well... maybe dogs.). Life is short. Don't put up walls stopping yourself from doing things. Whatever happens. Go with the flow. And try not to be too disappointed if everything you ever wanted doesn't come true or happen for you. Cry it out. Shake it off and try and believe that something better will come along.
So yeah... simplify life.
BUT... this year I am going to make a life change. And I'm not going to wait until January. I'm going to do it now. I want to simplify my life. It's very vague, so therefore ANY success is a win for me.
I think sometimes people make life way more complicated than it needs to be. You tell yourself you are going to be this chill person and the next thing you know you are stressing out, ripping your hair out, running around like you've lost your head, and so on. That's me. The running around with no head person. I don't want to do that anymore. Life is too short. There are too many great things out there to enjoy.
The first way I want to simplify life is to make sure I think of at least one thing every single day that makes my day worth it. Waking up each morning is a good one. That is a given. Something different every day. What am I thankful for? Why is today a great day, despite anything that may be going wrong?
Second, try not to worry so much. I do this thing where I crawl inside my own head and allow things to build to unnecessary heights. Or I clog my filter and therefore say shit I shouldn't say or really isn't what I'm thinking, but that is the thought that escaped. I don't want to do that anymore. I want to not try and control things that are out of my control. Go with the flow.
Third, simply be thankful for what I have. I have some of the best friends in the world. Sometimes I get crazy and worry that they are going to disappear or something is going to rip us apart, because that is what I have experienced in the past. I don't want to live in the past. I don't want that. I want to just... be. I want to not worry about the "what if's" in life. Those things are what make you think irrational thoughts. What if? Well... if something happens, it is meant to happen. I hope that my small group of amazing friends is forever with me. I hope we get to be friends forever. No matter what. They all know who they are. It would shatter my world if something tore us apart and I don't want that. I love them.
Four, Just fucking relax. I think too much. Seriously. There is always thoughts running in my mind that are very... damaging. LOL. Not in a kill myself sort of way. More of the "what if" I was just talking about. I need to just relax. Let it happen. Life is full of ups and downs. Things are going to happen and it's going to feel like the end of the world. Relationships will begin and end. My heart will be broken on more than one occasion. My chest will get that empty feeling as if a part of me is missing. And no matter how hard it is... I have to realize that one day it will just... stop. I will feel better. It may leave scars emotionally, but that's what make people beautiful. All those scars shape them into the person they are. So it will suck... but it will also get better. And if it doesn't, maybe you should chase after whatever it is you lost. It's obviously meant to be a part of you in some way. Maybe not the way you had hoped, but in some way. I'm not saying you should settle... but take a moment to think. Say it's a person. Would you rather be without them completely or just rearrange your relationship with them? If it's an opportunity missed... maybe that specific one was not suppose to happen, but you shouldn't not chase your dream just because of that one thing. Relax. Let life take you. You aren't in control of it. Fate is. Trust her.
And last (for now), I just want to be happy. I have a beautiful daughter who is the center of my universe. What more could I actually ask for? She's healthy, happy, and well taken care of. I have a roof over my head, food on the table. Sometimes the bills are tight. Or I'm not real sure where gas is coming from for the week. I want to let it go. If I can't change it, I don't want to worry about it at that moment.
Simplify life. Experience things I haven't experienced. Appreciate the things I have and do. Love the people around me, flaws and all, because God knows they love me with all my flaws (I have more than plenty). I'm a difficult person. I'm a difficult person to love I think. For those people who have stuck by my side, even when I have screwed up repeatedly, I thank you. I know some of those screw ups would give full right to walk away and never look back. I would have understood if you had. So thank you so much for sticking around. I promise to actively try to improve myself. Make myself a better person for me, my daughter, and everyone in my life. If I can work on myself, maybe some will love me more. Or new people will come into my life. And maybe I won't end up the cat lady, alone the rest of my life (although... it would be ok if I did. Well... maybe dogs.). Life is short. Don't put up walls stopping yourself from doing things. Whatever happens. Go with the flow. And try not to be too disappointed if everything you ever wanted doesn't come true or happen for you. Cry it out. Shake it off and try and believe that something better will come along.
So yeah... simplify life.
Labels:
Life,
Love,
new years resolution,
relax,
Simplify life
Friday, November 16, 2012
It's the End of the World... What do you do?
I know... it's not REALLY the end of the world. But think about it. What do you think you'd do if it was the end of the world? What if we were all going to simply vanish in December? Would you... go skydiving? Spend every waking moment with your loved ones? Who would you want to kiss? Hug? Shake hands with? I thought this was an interesting question, so I sent my dear friend Lisa (@LisaAODradio) a list of questions for her to answer. So now I will post hers... and mine (with a few comments on hers most likely) and see how she would spend her last days. Lisa's answers will be in Yellow... my comments... Pink! (And my answers!)
Question 1:
Who are five people you'd want to sleep with?
Lisa:
1. Austin Nichols
2. Joe Manganiello (YUM)
3. Alexander Skaarsgard (He has that nerdy thing going for him in real life)
4. Shemar Moore (You can't have him... he's mine.)
5. Michael Stagliano
Kristin:
1. Shemar Moore - He's so.... yum!
2. Tom Felton - He's a tad skinny now, but eh.
3. Kellan Lutz - He smells SO good.
4. Mekhi Phifer - He is sexy. Don't even look at me like that!
5. Tie: Vin Diesel and Tyrese - Just look at both of their arms!
Question 2:
Who are five people you'd want to kiss (But not sleep with)!
Lisa:
1. Blake Lively (Girl on girl!!!)
2. Sophia Bush
3. Rob Buckley
4. Chase Crawford
5. Josh Charles (Who?)
Kristin:
1. Jessica Alba - Epic girl crush!
2. LL Cool J - Need I explain?
3. Lebron James
4. Joe Manganiello - I may not NEED to sleep with him, but I wouldn't say no!)
5. Zac Efron - Sculpted by Jesus!
Question 3:
Who are five people you'd want to meet (in a non-sexual way)?
Lisa:
1. President Obama
2. Patrick Dempsey
3. Liam Neeson
4. Ellen Degeneres
5. Matthew Grey Gubler
Kristin:
1. President Obama - He just seems so cool!
2. Michelle Obama - Again... so cool!
3. J.K. Rowling
4. Lisa Gardner
5. Sean Connery
Question 4:
What are five things you'd want to mark off your bucket list (if you had unlimited means)?
Lisa:
1. New Years Even in Times Square (A bit cold...)
2. Backpack through Europe (Well you sure didn't hold out!)
3. Attend Olympic Games (Uh... if the world ends in December, I think you are out of luck!)
4. Swim with dolphins
5. Attend a Hollywood/NY Movie Premiere
Kristin:
1. Get married! - I know... cliche! In fun.'s words... "Who the fuck wants to die alone?"
2. Skydive - And possibly to avoid some horrific end-of-world death... forget the parachute!
3. Visit England & Italy (Can this be one?)
4. Work a red carpet premiere.
5. Make a difference in someone's life.
Question 6:
Who would you love to push off a cliff?
Lisa: Nicki Minaj (WHAT!? I love her!)
Kristin: If I HAD to... Probably... I don't know. I'd rather watch Karma take a go!
Question 7:
What is the last music you'd want to listen to?
Lisa: 100 Monkeys - NO JUDGING! (To each his own!)
Kristin: Probably a mix of Backstreet Boys and Classical!
Question 8: Which way would you want the world to end? Pick a disaster movie - 2012, Day After Tomorrow, Dinosaur style (hehe... Lisa is scared of dinosaurs!)
Lisa: 1ST... you're an ass for that last option. 2ND... I'm going with Day After Tomorrow because my ass would light a fire and stick to it like glue!!!!
Kristin: I'd probably agree! Day After Tomorrow. Although I HATE cold! I'd have been wiped out though. I live in Florida. That wave would have taken out Florida easily!
Question 1:
Who are five people you'd want to sleep with?
Lisa:
1. Austin Nichols
2. Joe Manganiello (YUM)
3. Alexander Skaarsgard (He has that nerdy thing going for him in real life)
4. Shemar Moore (You can't have him... he's mine.)
5. Michael Stagliano
Kristin:
1. Shemar Moore - He's so.... yum!
2. Tom Felton - He's a tad skinny now, but eh.
3. Kellan Lutz - He smells SO good.
4. Mekhi Phifer - He is sexy. Don't even look at me like that!
5. Tie: Vin Diesel and Tyrese - Just look at both of their arms!
Question 2:
Who are five people you'd want to kiss (But not sleep with)!
Lisa:
1. Blake Lively (Girl on girl!!!)
2. Sophia Bush
3. Rob Buckley
4. Chase Crawford
5. Josh Charles (Who?)
Kristin:
1. Jessica Alba - Epic girl crush!
2. LL Cool J - Need I explain?
3. Lebron James
4. Joe Manganiello - I may not NEED to sleep with him, but I wouldn't say no!)
5. Zac Efron - Sculpted by Jesus!
Question 3:
Who are five people you'd want to meet (in a non-sexual way)?
Lisa:
1. President Obama
2. Patrick Dempsey
3. Liam Neeson
4. Ellen Degeneres
5. Matthew Grey Gubler
Kristin:
1. President Obama - He just seems so cool!
2. Michelle Obama - Again... so cool!
3. J.K. Rowling
4. Lisa Gardner
5. Sean Connery
Question 4:
What are five things you'd want to mark off your bucket list (if you had unlimited means)?
Lisa:
1. New Years Even in Times Square (A bit cold...)
2. Backpack through Europe (Well you sure didn't hold out!)
3. Attend Olympic Games (Uh... if the world ends in December, I think you are out of luck!)
4. Swim with dolphins
5. Attend a Hollywood/NY Movie Premiere
Kristin:
1. Get married! - I know... cliche! In fun.'s words... "Who the fuck wants to die alone?"
2. Skydive - And possibly to avoid some horrific end-of-world death... forget the parachute!
3. Visit England & Italy (Can this be one?)
4. Work a red carpet premiere.
5. Make a difference in someone's life.
Question 6:
Who would you love to push off a cliff?
Lisa: Nicki Minaj (WHAT!? I love her!)
Kristin: If I HAD to... Probably... I don't know. I'd rather watch Karma take a go!
Question 7:
What is the last music you'd want to listen to?
Lisa: 100 Monkeys - NO JUDGING! (To each his own!)
Kristin: Probably a mix of Backstreet Boys and Classical!
Question 8: Which way would you want the world to end? Pick a disaster movie - 2012, Day After Tomorrow, Dinosaur style (hehe... Lisa is scared of dinosaurs!)
Lisa: 1ST... you're an ass for that last option. 2ND... I'm going with Day After Tomorrow because my ass would light a fire and stick to it like glue!!!!
Kristin: I'd probably agree! Day After Tomorrow. Although I HATE cold! I'd have been wiped out though. I live in Florida. That wave would have taken out Florida easily!
Labels:
Bucket List,
End of the World,
Kiss,
Love,
Meet people
Thursday, October 18, 2012
Strong Women
My dearest cousin, who is more like a sister than anything, sent me this in the form of a text message and it reigns so true. So therefore... I thought I would share it with you all..
She can deal with stress...
and carry heavy burdens.
She smiles when she feels like screaming,
and she sings when she feels like crying.
She cries when she's happy,
and laughs when she's afraid.
Her love is unconditional.
There's only one thing wrong with her.
She forgets what she's worth!
So taking this information into account... I challenge you all! Find a woman in your life... it can be your mom, sister, significant other, friend, whatever. Tell her how much she is loved and how much she means to you. The love should go both ways, and she should tell you how important and loved you are to her. But start it. Let her know she matters.
Signing out!
Me
She can deal with stress...
and carry heavy burdens.
She smiles when she feels like screaming,
and she sings when she feels like crying.
She cries when she's happy,
and laughs when she's afraid.
Her love is unconditional.
There's only one thing wrong with her.
She forgets what she's worth!
So taking this information into account... I challenge you all! Find a woman in your life... it can be your mom, sister, significant other, friend, whatever. Tell her how much she is loved and how much she means to you. The love should go both ways, and she should tell you how important and loved you are to her. But start it. Let her know she matters.
Signing out!
Me
Wednesday, October 17, 2012
It's Not Like the Movies
I shouldn't say life isn't like the movies at all. I guess it is sometimes, in some aspects. But fairy tales do not exist in real life. That is the reality of it. Disney teaches kids that they will grow up and find their prince or princess and live happily ever after. Life isn't that simple.
What you have to realize is that you are your own worst enemy. Heartbreak can only hold you for so long until you decide to start moving forward. Happiness is only good as long as the owner holds onto it. A sliver of darkness can darken that happiness. What I'm trying to say is that we decide our own fate.
Now... for anyone who knows me, they can tell you that I have some shit luck. Bad things happen, usually in groups. But... there is always a light at the end of the tunnel. So every time something bad happens, all I can think is... just a little bit farther.
There have been things in life I have wanted... and things that I have not wanted... and sometimes I get what I want, while other times I do not. I've had best friends who would do anything for me and I've had best friends stab me in the back. Boys have come and gone. Jobs start and end. Life continues.
I think for every woman there comes a time when your internal clock gets so freaking loud that you have a hard time ignoring it. It's like... GET MARRIED! HAVE BABIES! WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR! I think my internal clock is ticking, but I'm really good at silencing it for the most part. But it does make you think. I'm 27 (newly). I have a job I do love, a business I put my blood, sweat, and tears into, friends would would do anything for me (I think), a beautiful four year old who brightens my day every time she enters the room, a house, a car, food on the table, music to listen to, family to spend time with.... so therefore... most would say I am doing well. As a girl (or a woman), I can't help but let it cross my mind that I'm not married... I have no possibilities for more kids in the future... Doesn't that make you wonder?
What if I'm broken? Or unwantable? Is that even a word? I don't think so. I don't think I'm that bad of a person. I work hard. I try and rectify the mistakes I made when I was younger. I try and be the best mom I can be. So why doesn't anyone want me? It's a hard question to ask yourself. Now... I'm a bitch. I can be a serious bitch. I tend to want things my way and I have only found one person in my life (opposite sex) that can handle me at my best and worst. Sometimes I question how long he can deal with it to be honest. Aside from that... I do have baggage. It's part of life. Mine might be a bit heavier than some. But it is what it is and I have to live with it. Sometimes I just wish I had someone who wanted to help me bare the load. Someone who is there to say "I'm on your side," when life gets difficult. I feel like people run when things get hard. So instead of sharing my thoughts, fears, etc, I bottle it up and I let it simmer until I can't contain it anymore and I lose it. Tears. Screaming. Whatever the case...
But then I look at my life and realize it's not that bad. It might not be like the movies... but it's pretty good compared to others. And if no man ever decides I'm the one he wants... that's ok too. Because I don't need a man to be happy. I don't want to depend on a man to be happy. It would be nice to have a partner in crime... but I can do it on my own. I've been doing it long enough. So as much as it sucks sometimes... I wipe away the tears, shoulders back, head up, and move forward.
Because ladies.... someday... maybe not tomorrow, next week, or even next year... that guy that you liked so much and you waited for... the one you gave everything to... whatever made him happy... and he decided you weren't the one he wanted. I guarantee he will look back and say "Damn... what was I thinking." So I'm going to hold on to that and all of you should too. You are amazing. You are beautiful. You are intelligent. You are hard working. And you will be missed. Because who can't miss someone that amazing. And as much as it sucks that he didn't realize that sooner... it puts a bit of a smile on your (and my) face to know that one day he's going to look back... and you'll be gone.
People won't wait forever. How's that saying go? One day you'll realize what you had was the best... but the best found better.
What you have to realize is that you are your own worst enemy. Heartbreak can only hold you for so long until you decide to start moving forward. Happiness is only good as long as the owner holds onto it. A sliver of darkness can darken that happiness. What I'm trying to say is that we decide our own fate.
Now... for anyone who knows me, they can tell you that I have some shit luck. Bad things happen, usually in groups. But... there is always a light at the end of the tunnel. So every time something bad happens, all I can think is... just a little bit farther.
There have been things in life I have wanted... and things that I have not wanted... and sometimes I get what I want, while other times I do not. I've had best friends who would do anything for me and I've had best friends stab me in the back. Boys have come and gone. Jobs start and end. Life continues.
I think for every woman there comes a time when your internal clock gets so freaking loud that you have a hard time ignoring it. It's like... GET MARRIED! HAVE BABIES! WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR! I think my internal clock is ticking, but I'm really good at silencing it for the most part. But it does make you think. I'm 27 (newly). I have a job I do love, a business I put my blood, sweat, and tears into, friends would would do anything for me (I think), a beautiful four year old who brightens my day every time she enters the room, a house, a car, food on the table, music to listen to, family to spend time with.... so therefore... most would say I am doing well. As a girl (or a woman), I can't help but let it cross my mind that I'm not married... I have no possibilities for more kids in the future... Doesn't that make you wonder?
What if I'm broken? Or unwantable? Is that even a word? I don't think so. I don't think I'm that bad of a person. I work hard. I try and rectify the mistakes I made when I was younger. I try and be the best mom I can be. So why doesn't anyone want me? It's a hard question to ask yourself. Now... I'm a bitch. I can be a serious bitch. I tend to want things my way and I have only found one person in my life (opposite sex) that can handle me at my best and worst. Sometimes I question how long he can deal with it to be honest. Aside from that... I do have baggage. It's part of life. Mine might be a bit heavier than some. But it is what it is and I have to live with it. Sometimes I just wish I had someone who wanted to help me bare the load. Someone who is there to say "I'm on your side," when life gets difficult. I feel like people run when things get hard. So instead of sharing my thoughts, fears, etc, I bottle it up and I let it simmer until I can't contain it anymore and I lose it. Tears. Screaming. Whatever the case...
But then I look at my life and realize it's not that bad. It might not be like the movies... but it's pretty good compared to others. And if no man ever decides I'm the one he wants... that's ok too. Because I don't need a man to be happy. I don't want to depend on a man to be happy. It would be nice to have a partner in crime... but I can do it on my own. I've been doing it long enough. So as much as it sucks sometimes... I wipe away the tears, shoulders back, head up, and move forward.
Because ladies.... someday... maybe not tomorrow, next week, or even next year... that guy that you liked so much and you waited for... the one you gave everything to... whatever made him happy... and he decided you weren't the one he wanted. I guarantee he will look back and say "Damn... what was I thinking." So I'm going to hold on to that and all of you should too. You are amazing. You are beautiful. You are intelligent. You are hard working. And you will be missed. Because who can't miss someone that amazing. And as much as it sucks that he didn't realize that sooner... it puts a bit of a smile on your (and my) face to know that one day he's going to look back... and you'll be gone.
People won't wait forever. How's that saying go? One day you'll realize what you had was the best... but the best found better.
Monday, October 1, 2012
Just Smile
Do you ever get that feeling that you are just tired? Not sleepy tired. Just tired. The best way I can describe it is that you get tired of fighting. Tired of struggling. Tired of... everything. Not saying you want to "end it all" because let's be honest... that's a bit extreme. It's that feeling where you feel like you have been fighting for something for so long or trying so hard to be "perfect" and it's just not working. Obviously perfection is impossible to achieve. There is always room for improvement, which is what makes people get better... when they are constantly trying to beat themselves.
I think there are times in life where you just reach a point and you can't try anymore. Not about everything in general. Just certain things. Let's take an example. Say you have been trying so hard to be a really good friend to someone and they keep pushing back. Making you feel like you aren't doing enough or that you aren't enough. After so long you either start to believe it or you just can't fight it anymore. You have no choice but to back off.
I believe that relationships come and go. Not everyone is going to be in your life forever. Not even family. Relationships fall apart so that other ones can come together. Yes... I just posted that quote. But it's so true. Not everything is sunflowers, rainbows, and unicorns. Life sucks. It's going to hurt. People are going to hurt you. Your heart will be broken. You will get betrayed. It's part of life. I tweeted a quote the other day that said something along the lines of 'Pain is inevitable, but suffering is a choice'.
That's not saying you have to just suck it up and deal with it. No tears. No reaction. Sometimes tears are good. It's simply saying that you don't have to let it consume you. I am no stranger to this. There will be relationships in life that end and you feel like the world is over. It's not. There is a reason that relationship never worked out. There are people in my life who use to be really close with me and now we don't speak. Not a day goes by something doesn't remind me of them. But it is what it is. Don't dwell on it. Move on. Embrace what they taught you.
Now if it make you feel better, I will say that I am a believer in the notion that sometimes people don't know what they lost until it is gone. They don't realize how great you are. Or what you have to offer. Everyone has seen that, right? Whether it be an ex that breaks up with you and then suddenly they are all up in your business wanting you back or a friend that is apologizing profusely for talking behind your back. Why? They realized they screwed up and they threw away greatness. Just like there is that person who you let get away... you are that person to somebody. Somebody knows, or will know, how amazing you are after the fact. That may seem sad to a lot of you, myself included, because you want them to see that BEFORE they throw it away. But you are great. You are beautiful. Someone will appreciate it.
You for instance... the one reading this. You are great. I know that. So smile. Just smile.
I think there are times in life where you just reach a point and you can't try anymore. Not about everything in general. Just certain things. Let's take an example. Say you have been trying so hard to be a really good friend to someone and they keep pushing back. Making you feel like you aren't doing enough or that you aren't enough. After so long you either start to believe it or you just can't fight it anymore. You have no choice but to back off.
I believe that relationships come and go. Not everyone is going to be in your life forever. Not even family. Relationships fall apart so that other ones can come together. Yes... I just posted that quote. But it's so true. Not everything is sunflowers, rainbows, and unicorns. Life sucks. It's going to hurt. People are going to hurt you. Your heart will be broken. You will get betrayed. It's part of life. I tweeted a quote the other day that said something along the lines of 'Pain is inevitable, but suffering is a choice'.
That's not saying you have to just suck it up and deal with it. No tears. No reaction. Sometimes tears are good. It's simply saying that you don't have to let it consume you. I am no stranger to this. There will be relationships in life that end and you feel like the world is over. It's not. There is a reason that relationship never worked out. There are people in my life who use to be really close with me and now we don't speak. Not a day goes by something doesn't remind me of them. But it is what it is. Don't dwell on it. Move on. Embrace what they taught you.
Now if it make you feel better, I will say that I am a believer in the notion that sometimes people don't know what they lost until it is gone. They don't realize how great you are. Or what you have to offer. Everyone has seen that, right? Whether it be an ex that breaks up with you and then suddenly they are all up in your business wanting you back or a friend that is apologizing profusely for talking behind your back. Why? They realized they screwed up and they threw away greatness. Just like there is that person who you let get away... you are that person to somebody. Somebody knows, or will know, how amazing you are after the fact. That may seem sad to a lot of you, myself included, because you want them to see that BEFORE they throw it away. But you are great. You are beautiful. Someone will appreciate it.
You for instance... the one reading this. You are great. I know that. So smile. Just smile.
Labels:
friendship,
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Friday, August 24, 2012
Weekly Rant!
TOPIC 1: Let me start with some random ramblings. Some of the Colorado victim shooting victims and/or their families have hired Jose Baez to represent them in their civil suit against the movie theater. For those who do not watch the news (or live under a rock), Jose Baez is the one that got Casey Anthony off from murder. You know... Casey "I swear I dropped my kid at the babysitter but miraculously her dead body popped up a mile from my house" Anthony. Let's not even get me started on that case. So anyway, they are suing the movie theater. Because... you know... it was CLEARLY the movie theaters fault that some doctoral student who couldn't keep his head in the game went WAY off his rocker and shot up a movie theater. It was there fault that he went out and came back in with a gun. What else would you have liked them to do? He didn't walk through the front door with a machine gun strapped around him and they didn't just waive him in anyway. He went out the emergency exit. Mind you... I guarantee they are going to bring up some stupid thing that says "that door should only be for emergencies". Well duh! But had that door been locked, then someone would be suing the theater for the fact that the emergency exit couldn't be used in the event of a fire. It's not the theaters fault. It's that crazy dude who couldn't handle his life. Sue him. Sue his parents for bad genetics (that wouldn't be right either btw...). But do not sue the movie theater who did everything they could to help. Bad things happen. Sometimes there is nobody else to blame but the single individual who will never see the light of day again. Justice is being served. Suing the theater is not going to bring your brother, father, sister, friend, or child back. They will still be gone. Money might make you feel better for now, but that void is always going to be there. Why ruin the lives of others in the process? I don't get it. I think people are greedy. I don't blame them. I blame grief. It's a bitch.
Moving on...
TOPIC 2: Someone shot up outside the Empire State Building this morning. Some disgruntled worker I guess. Take a freakin zanax! Stop shooting each other! We all want our freedom... and people get so mad when the government talks about changing our gun laws, but we keep going around killing each other! By we... I mean all those crazy people (Not WE as in me and my readers). Seriously, take yoga... meditate... read a book.... listen to calming waves from the ocean... or take your anger out on a punching bag. Do NOT... I repeat DO NOT shoot up strangers in the street! What the hell did they do!?
TOPIC 3: Can we pleeeease stop talking about Kstew and Rpattz. I get it... they broke up. We are sad. Kstew screwed up. She KNOWS! You do not have to remind her every day of her life! I'm certain she is sad enough. People make mistakes. Nobody would care if she wasn't your precious Bella dating the beautiful Edward. The funny thing is that you don't hear about people ripping Sanders. Is that his last name? Rupert, right? I hear so little about him I don't even know if I have his name right. The married man with 2 kids she trotted off with! Why do we not hear about him? It's not like Kstew drugged him and forced him to cheat. He is just as guilty! He is MARRIED! Kristen was in a relationship but he is MARRIED. With KIDS! Come on! How is that not worse!? I'm a firm believer that people can change. Stop bringing up the same shit. Let them heal and try to move on or grow from it.
Until next week...
Moving on...
TOPIC 2: Someone shot up outside the Empire State Building this morning. Some disgruntled worker I guess. Take a freakin zanax! Stop shooting each other! We all want our freedom... and people get so mad when the government talks about changing our gun laws, but we keep going around killing each other! By we... I mean all those crazy people (Not WE as in me and my readers). Seriously, take yoga... meditate... read a book.... listen to calming waves from the ocean... or take your anger out on a punching bag. Do NOT... I repeat DO NOT shoot up strangers in the street! What the hell did they do!?
TOPIC 3: Can we pleeeease stop talking about Kstew and Rpattz. I get it... they broke up. We are sad. Kstew screwed up. She KNOWS! You do not have to remind her every day of her life! I'm certain she is sad enough. People make mistakes. Nobody would care if she wasn't your precious Bella dating the beautiful Edward. The funny thing is that you don't hear about people ripping Sanders. Is that his last name? Rupert, right? I hear so little about him I don't even know if I have his name right. The married man with 2 kids she trotted off with! Why do we not hear about him? It's not like Kstew drugged him and forced him to cheat. He is just as guilty! He is MARRIED! Kristen was in a relationship but he is MARRIED. With KIDS! Come on! How is that not worse!? I'm a firm believer that people can change. Stop bringing up the same shit. Let them heal and try to move on or grow from it.
Until next week...
Labels:
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To Fake a Smile...
There has been so much going on lately that I literally have the urge to scream and pull my hair at the same time. You ever have one of those weeks where it starts out.... God... so fucking good. You literally can not imagine things getting better... and then you go and do something ridiculously stupid and it crumbles around you? Yeah... you know what I mean. Well... to sum up the end of my week, I feel as though I am officially standing on the rubble that once was the perfection of my life. Yeah... that bad.
So we are going to talk about life. My life to be exact. A little back story to start. Life is not always easy. Obviously. I don't have to preach that. I've been in many relationships before. Whether those be actual relationships with men, friendships, or acquaintances. Either way you look at it, some of those blossom and some of them fall apart. There was a time that me and my bestie absolutely hated each other. Now I can't imagine life without her. I'm fairly certain we will ram each other with our wheelchairs later in life. A lot of my relationships in the past have been... horrible. Some were good and then went bad. I don't think I've ever been in a relationship where it was good and ended good. I'm not use to things being good. Every time things get good, I cover my head because I know something is about to fall out of the sky and hit me. The problem with my demented past is that it tends to creep up and ruin things for my future. I make a friend or get in a relationship and things start looking good and bam... before anything bad can happen, I fuck it up. Why? Because I was always trained that if you don't want to watch people leave, you leave first.
I know what you are thinking. This girl is mental! It's very possible. I might need medication or a nice jacket to help hug myself.
Then you meet people (my bestie is one) where you really want it to work out. You really want that relationship to stay a part of your life. So you adapt. It may take a while. You may screw up a few times. You may push so hard that the other person backs up even. The good thing is that sometimes they push back. They want to be in your life as much as you want them to. Sometimes, though, you push a bit too hard and there is nothing you can do but watch it fall apart. Recently, and no I am not going to name names... I pushed a bit too hard I think. And I'm not sure this person is going to push back.
You know that feeling you get when you are so sad. It can be when someone dies, when you break up, when you fight with your friend, argue with your parents, say something mean but not have meant it, whatever. That feeling in your chest where you feel like something is squeezing your heart, and probably your lungs. And you can not shake it. I hate that feeling. I have that feeling.
I want to clarify something to those people who I have shoved in the past, or in my present... I don't do it because I don't want you as a part of my life. It's like this horribly fucked up instinct in my brain that triggers. I would like to believe that I am growing as a person. I've made some adjustments in recent months of my life that I think make me a better person. I've brought people into my life (into meaning where I only let a select few) that make me a better person and make me want to be a better person. So if I shove you away or I do something crazy, know I don't mean it. I'm still working on the programming that makes me do these things. It's a hard habit to break, but I'm working on it. All I ask is that you don't give up on me. I don't love easily and I am damn sure aware that I am not easy to love. So when I do, I love hard. And if it's someone I have let into those inner barriers that I hold so near and dear to protecting myself, and they leave, it's like my breath is taken away. I get so sad. So sad.
I'm fairly good at pretending. I can go to work with a smile on my face, laugh with my coworkers or clients, and pretend like all is right in the world. But all girls know that we are the best at hiding our feelings when we want to. We can put our heart on our sleeve if we want, but if we don't want you to know how we are inside, you will never know.
A dear friend of mine recently told me that the phrase "too good to be true" is a hard one to combat. How are you suppose to win against that? How are you suppose to win someone over who is always thinking that there is something bad right behind the good? I never really looked at it like that. Maybe it's too late now though.
There are people in my life who I am so afraid of losing. I can't help but wonder if there are people who are afraid of losing me.
Labels:
friendship,
Life,
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Relationships,
too good to be true
Monday, July 16, 2012
"Dirty Talk He'll Love"
So we all know that I read Cosmo like it's a freakin' bible. If you didn't know that... well then you should scroll back to some of my other beautiful things I've written. They are amazing (toot toot! on my horn). So this one is all about Cosmo's recent article online about "Dirty Talk He'll Love". So I thought I'd comment. What better way to kill time, right?
So here it is... 10 oh so magical things that will make him all the more horny and want to rip your clothes off (or so Cosmo says).
1. "What do you want me to do?"
I'm not against this one. This is actually quite true. Cosmo says "Asking him what he needs from you proves you're open to changing things up." True... but it also shows him that you WANT to please him. Not that you couldn't, but it makes him feel like the one in charge when really, because you have a vagina, he is at your every whim.
2. "You're an amazing kisser."
Again... I approve. I would not necessarily say that exactly, but something along the same lines. This encourages men along because men, as much as they don't like to admit it, need our approval and encouragement in the sack. If they think they are sucking then it will end up sucking. And none of us want that.
3. "Your arms are so sexy."
Cosmo states that "unlike women, guys don't often receive physical compliments, so telling him what you love about his bod is a powerful ego boost - and aphrodisiac." Aside from complimenting them in general... everyone should know (whether you want to or not) that I have this weird obsession with arms. Arms and necks. If you have sexy arms and the perfect neck... we can do the nasty. Seriously... arms are so damn sexy at times. Especially when you can feel the ripple of the muscle. Jesus... OK moving on before I work myself up over here. But yes... thumbs up Cosmo! Good pointer!
4. "I want you."
Now... if you are already mid-foreplay and numerous pieces of your clothing have been thrown across the room, then this is probably a given. Sometimes they want to hear it anyway, so give in. It takes a whole 2 seconds of your time to say it. I recently had a male friend inform me that you know a girl is ready to get down to business when she reaches for the zipper of the male's jeans. That means she is ready for step 2.... or 10... fourth base? What is that? Anyway... it's go time basically.
5. "Put your mouth on my breasts."
I find this a bit odd. I would never say that. I would look at someone funny if they ever said something of that nature to me. Well... if someone came to me and said "Put your mouth on my breasts" I'd have to turn them down anyway. I like men way too much to dip my fingers in the other sides candy dish. No thanks. Either way, commands are nice "touch me", "put your hands on me", etc. But breasts is not a word I'm thinking of as I'm inching my way towards home.
6. "I love the way you fill me up."
Negative. Never gonna happen. Are you kidding? A "You feel so good." might escape my mouth. But "I love the way you fill me up." Not gonna happen. Don't hold your breath. It seems so... porn star-ish. Right? Is it just me? Hopefully he does fill you up... not in an overfull way cuz let's be honest... there is such thing as too big... but in a just right, you want to scream from the friction, sort of way. That we are all for. Fill up... but let's not talk about it.
7. "Oh God."
Oh YES! This one is definitely in my vocabulary during sexy time. Who else to praise for such delicious feelings than God. He did create us after all. He did make it so we are capable of having that feeling when every nerve in your body fires, your stomach muscles clench, your lungs shut down, your toes curl, hands turn into fists full of bedding, skin, etc, and your eyes roll back in your head. What else to yell than "OH GOD!" This gets the Kristin stamp of approval! You could also insert a "F---". That works too.
8. "It feel incredible when you press your penis against me."
This may be true. It may feel incredible when he does this. But that is a long ass sentence to get out when you are in the throws of passion. I'm not even sure my mind would be able to form a full on coherent sentence when it came down to that point in the game. So again, this won't be leaving my mouth anytime... ever. Just yell "Oh God." instead... he'll get the point.
9. "F--- me harder."
Don't lie... you have ALL used this one. You are so unbelievably close to that orgasm and you just want it to get there so you tell him "harder". Maybe not everyone uses the F bomb (I do because it's my favorite word.), but harder, more, faster, Oh God harder (LOL), would work. Anything for a bit more friction to push you over that very high edge.
10. "I love having sex with you."
Cosmo says, "By confirming how incredible intercourse was when you're lying side-by-side afterwards, you reinforce your awesome chemistry and your satisfaction. And because his levels of the bonding hormone oxytocin peak post-sex, he's craving a feeling of closeness and connection." So ladies... this means work that time... just don't be overly clingy emotional. Not all guys like cuddle time after sex. Some just want to collapse into sleep, some eat, some just don't want to be touched, and others want to hold you and stroke your back. Follow his lead. You push the wrong way and I guarantee the "bonding" will come to a screeching halt. I would never say "I love having sex with you", but I may say "That was incredible." or "Damn...", or maybe even "We have GOT to do that again." HAHA. Either way... stroke his male ego the way you probably just stroked his... and tell him how it was. Unless it was bad. Probably not the best idea to say "That was horrible" unless you want a swift kick out the door... probably not quite yet fully clothed.
And that's it. Some are OH so correct and others, not so freaking much. Another little tidbit of information from yours truly. Enjoy! More to come.
K.
Check out Cosmo's original article here!
So here it is... 10 oh so magical things that will make him all the more horny and want to rip your clothes off (or so Cosmo says).
1. "What do you want me to do?"
I'm not against this one. This is actually quite true. Cosmo says "Asking him what he needs from you proves you're open to changing things up." True... but it also shows him that you WANT to please him. Not that you couldn't, but it makes him feel like the one in charge when really, because you have a vagina, he is at your every whim.
2. "You're an amazing kisser."
Again... I approve. I would not necessarily say that exactly, but something along the same lines. This encourages men along because men, as much as they don't like to admit it, need our approval and encouragement in the sack. If they think they are sucking then it will end up sucking. And none of us want that.
3. "Your arms are so sexy."
Cosmo states that "unlike women, guys don't often receive physical compliments, so telling him what you love about his bod is a powerful ego boost - and aphrodisiac." Aside from complimenting them in general... everyone should know (whether you want to or not) that I have this weird obsession with arms. Arms and necks. If you have sexy arms and the perfect neck... we can do the nasty. Seriously... arms are so damn sexy at times. Especially when you can feel the ripple of the muscle. Jesus... OK moving on before I work myself up over here. But yes... thumbs up Cosmo! Good pointer!
4. "I want you."
Now... if you are already mid-foreplay and numerous pieces of your clothing have been thrown across the room, then this is probably a given. Sometimes they want to hear it anyway, so give in. It takes a whole 2 seconds of your time to say it. I recently had a male friend inform me that you know a girl is ready to get down to business when she reaches for the zipper of the male's jeans. That means she is ready for step 2.... or 10... fourth base? What is that? Anyway... it's go time basically.
5. "Put your mouth on my breasts."
I find this a bit odd. I would never say that. I would look at someone funny if they ever said something of that nature to me. Well... if someone came to me and said "Put your mouth on my breasts" I'd have to turn them down anyway. I like men way too much to dip my fingers in the other sides candy dish. No thanks. Either way, commands are nice "touch me", "put your hands on me", etc. But breasts is not a word I'm thinking of as I'm inching my way towards home.
6. "I love the way you fill me up."
Negative. Never gonna happen. Are you kidding? A "You feel so good." might escape my mouth. But "I love the way you fill me up." Not gonna happen. Don't hold your breath. It seems so... porn star-ish. Right? Is it just me? Hopefully he does fill you up... not in an overfull way cuz let's be honest... there is such thing as too big... but in a just right, you want to scream from the friction, sort of way. That we are all for. Fill up... but let's not talk about it.
7. "Oh God."
Oh YES! This one is definitely in my vocabulary during sexy time. Who else to praise for such delicious feelings than God. He did create us after all. He did make it so we are capable of having that feeling when every nerve in your body fires, your stomach muscles clench, your lungs shut down, your toes curl, hands turn into fists full of bedding, skin, etc, and your eyes roll back in your head. What else to yell than "OH GOD!" This gets the Kristin stamp of approval! You could also insert a "F---". That works too.
8. "It feel incredible when you press your penis against me."
This may be true. It may feel incredible when he does this. But that is a long ass sentence to get out when you are in the throws of passion. I'm not even sure my mind would be able to form a full on coherent sentence when it came down to that point in the game. So again, this won't be leaving my mouth anytime... ever. Just yell "Oh God." instead... he'll get the point.
9. "F--- me harder."
Don't lie... you have ALL used this one. You are so unbelievably close to that orgasm and you just want it to get there so you tell him "harder". Maybe not everyone uses the F bomb (I do because it's my favorite word.), but harder, more, faster, Oh God harder (LOL), would work. Anything for a bit more friction to push you over that very high edge.
10. "I love having sex with you."
Cosmo says, "By confirming how incredible intercourse was when you're lying side-by-side afterwards, you reinforce your awesome chemistry and your satisfaction. And because his levels of the bonding hormone oxytocin peak post-sex, he's craving a feeling of closeness and connection." So ladies... this means work that time... just don't be overly clingy emotional. Not all guys like cuddle time after sex. Some just want to collapse into sleep, some eat, some just don't want to be touched, and others want to hold you and stroke your back. Follow his lead. You push the wrong way and I guarantee the "bonding" will come to a screeching halt. I would never say "I love having sex with you", but I may say "That was incredible." or "Damn...", or maybe even "We have GOT to do that again." HAHA. Either way... stroke his male ego the way you probably just stroked his... and tell him how it was. Unless it was bad. Probably not the best idea to say "That was horrible" unless you want a swift kick out the door... probably not quite yet fully clothed.
And that's it. Some are OH so correct and others, not so freaking much. Another little tidbit of information from yours truly. Enjoy! More to come.
K.
Check out Cosmo's original article here!
Thursday, July 12, 2012
Relationships...
You know how guys say "nice guys finish last". That may be true is some cases. but not all cases. There are many girls out there who look for the hot, well built man first. They want the muscles, the good looks, the money, the cars, and all the perks of being "his girl". The thing is, there are plenty of girls who are not all about the looks. In my opinion, the better you are on the inside, the better you look on the outside. You can be the most gorgeous man in the world, but if you have a shitty personality, then there is the door. I don't want what you are selling.
In my opinion, life is a bit harder for the girl. No offense men, but a majority of you are shallow dicks. If a girl doesn't have a small waist you don't want any. If that girl has a great personality, more power to you. The thing is... we all need love.
I've always been the one that says I don't want to get married and I'm not looking to fall in love (which is typically when it happens, may I point out), but in reality every girls wants a little bit of her own fairy tale. I don't want someone who settles for me, though. I want someone who looks at me and says "that's the one." I'm difficult. I'm beyond difficult. I'm bitchy and bossy and I tend to put up a fight against things even when I know they are right just because I can. I tend to want things my way and I get upset when they aren't. Not many men can handle me or want to handle me.
All I'm saying is that the world has come to be so difficult. What ever happen to getting to know someone and then making a judgement call on to whether you could be with them? What happen to being nice to everyone because you could be being a complete bitch to the man of your dreams (or woman... equality here!) Stop caring what your friends think. Don't not get to know someone because they might not be what your friends want you to bring around.
And my newest lesson... leave everyone out of your shit. It only complicates things. Don't you have enough problems trying to deal with your OWN relationships than to bring other people into yours or put your nose in someone else's? Look at celebrities... the ones that make it are the ones you never hear about in the news!
And end rant...
In my opinion, life is a bit harder for the girl. No offense men, but a majority of you are shallow dicks. If a girl doesn't have a small waist you don't want any. If that girl has a great personality, more power to you. The thing is... we all need love.
I've always been the one that says I don't want to get married and I'm not looking to fall in love (which is typically when it happens, may I point out), but in reality every girls wants a little bit of her own fairy tale. I don't want someone who settles for me, though. I want someone who looks at me and says "that's the one." I'm difficult. I'm beyond difficult. I'm bitchy and bossy and I tend to put up a fight against things even when I know they are right just because I can. I tend to want things my way and I get upset when they aren't. Not many men can handle me or want to handle me.
All I'm saying is that the world has come to be so difficult. What ever happen to getting to know someone and then making a judgement call on to whether you could be with them? What happen to being nice to everyone because you could be being a complete bitch to the man of your dreams (or woman... equality here!) Stop caring what your friends think. Don't not get to know someone because they might not be what your friends want you to bring around.
And my newest lesson... leave everyone out of your shit. It only complicates things. Don't you have enough problems trying to deal with your OWN relationships than to bring other people into yours or put your nose in someone else's? Look at celebrities... the ones that make it are the ones you never hear about in the news!
And end rant...
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