Tuesday, June 30, 2009

Vagina

Does the word Vagina gross you out too? Cuz I must say... for some reason... the word Vagina gives me the skivvies. So anyway, I am not writing this to tell you how grossed out I am by that word. I am writing this to tell you that I am utterly amazed by the million different forms of the word Vagina there are. I mean, think about it! I think that people sat down one day around a table with some beers and tried to think up the most vulgar and disgusting ways to verbally ruin a woman's goods.

For instance, let's start with the easy stuff. Or shall I say, the least disgusting and vulgar. Crotch, Cutchie, Girl parts, or even Lady Business. Personally, I like lady business. It makes me laugh. Moving on from that are the most common nicknames. I am talking vajitsa, vajayjay, vag, and crotch. These are popular and thrown around a lot.

Then we start getting into the funny and gross. Honeypot, Susie, Woo Woo... those are cute. Vertical Smile... that is disturbing. Trim, muff, treasure, cooter, sheath, and yani. Those ones... some gross me out... others are just wierd.

Ok... on a MUCH more disturbing note... Food. Yes you heard me. You may be wondering what food has to do with nicknames for vaginas... and let me tell you I thought the same thing, but for some UNGODLY reason people associate the two. So here it is... the vaginal food list!

Muffin
Taco
Fur Burger (DISGUSTING)
Bearded Clam (ICK)
Peach
Beef Curtains (I'll never look at flank steak the same)

If that didn't change the way you look at a lot of food, I don't know what will. Because I am not sure I can look at a burger the same again.

Another disturbing catergory... animals. I think I would rather my... lady business... be compared to an animal than food. But whatever! So animals... kitty, pussy(cat), camel toe, moose knuckle (DISGUSTING squared!) and a beaver. That is right... our little woodland friends.

And to wrap it up... the most disgusting and gross things you can think of. We'll start off gentle... Pooter and poonany... ugh! Yani... that is just... no words!

AND NOW... the top 3 most disgusting, nasty, vulgar, and gag-worthy names for your vagina!

Twat
Snatch
Puddy

Tell me... doesn't puddy sound like pudding... and I really do not want to compare my vagina to that. Ok... that is enough. I can not say vagi.... well you know... anymore. It makes me sick! I will see you again soon. In the mean time... Keep your lady business safe!

(BTW... just the fact that I posted this in neon green... now makes me think of fungus)

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