Vagina

Does the word Vagina gross you out too? Cuz I must say... for some reason... the word Vagina gives me the skivvies. So anyway, I am not writing this to tell you how grossed out I am by that word. I am writing this to tell you that I am utterly amazed by the million different forms of the word Vagina there are. I mean, think about it! I think that people sat down one day around a table with some beers and tried to think up the most vulgar and disgusting ways to verbally ruin a woman's goods.

For instance, let's start with the easy stuff. Or shall I say, the least disgusting and vulgar. Crotch, Cutchie, Girl parts, or even Lady Business. Personally, I like lady business. It makes me laugh. Moving on from that are the most common nicknames. I am talking vajitsa, vajayjay, vag, and crotch. These are popular and thrown around a lot.

Then we start getting into the funny and gross. Honeypot, Susie, Woo Woo... those are cute. Vertical Smile... that is disturbing. Trim, muff, treasure, cooter, sheath, and yani. Those ones... some gross me out... others are just wierd.

Ok... on a MUCH more disturbing note... Food. Yes you heard me. You may be wondering what food has to do with nicknames for vaginas... and let me tell you I thought the same thing, but for some UNGODLY reason people associate the two. So here it is... the vaginal food list!

Muffin

Taco

Fur Burger (DISGUSTING)

Bearded Clam (ICK)

Peach

Beef Curtains (I'll never look at flank steak the same)

If that didn't change the way you look at a lot of food, I don't know what will. Because I am not sure I can look at a burger the same again.

Another disturbing catergory... animals. I think I would rather my... lady business... be compared to an animal than food. But whatever! So animals... kitty, pussy(cat), camel toe, moose knuckle (DISGUSTING squared!) and a beaver. That is right... our little woodland friends.

And to wrap it up... the most disgusting and gross things you can think of. We'll start off gentle... Pooter and poonany... ugh! Yani... that is just... no words!

AND NOW... the top 3 most disgusting, nasty, vulgar, and gag-worthy names for your vagina!

Twat

Snatch

Puddy

Tell me... doesn't puddy sound like pudding... and I really do not want to compare my vagina to that. Ok... that is enough. I can not say vagi.... well you know... anymore. It makes me sick! I will see you again soon. In the mean time... Keep your lady business safe!

(BTW... just the fact that I posted this in neon green... now makes me think of fungus)

RIP Michael Jackson

It's all over the news... twitter, myspace, and facebook are going crazy... the news is official... Michael Jackson has died from cardiac arrest early this afternoon at UCLA Medical Center in California. He was only 50 years old.

This news comes as a shock following the death of Ed McMahon on Tuesday 6/23/09 and Farrah Fawcet this morning. The music industry has lost a huge part of its history today. MTV is already streaming music videos and shows he has been on. I am sure the thousands upon thousands of people that bought tickets to his comeback are in tears, not at the idea of paying all that money, but at the thought that they will now never get the chance to see him.

I do not want to overdo this with words... so I will keep it short... RIP Michael Jackson... you are a legand, a memory, and a spot will always be held for you in the music industry. If you thought you were big before... just wait.

Now as for the grim reaper... dude... seriously! Take a freakin chill pill and lay off our celebrities... You got 3 in 2 days... enoughs enough!

~Kristin

What I love...

Some people have given me crap because I spend my free time searching for and booking bands for Nikki and Vicky's show Aritsts on Demand Radio and I do not get paid for it. Let me explain something. I LOVE what I do. My day job is great because it allows a flexible schedule to take care of my daughter and spend a lot of quality time with her. My evening "job" is to have fun. That is how I look at it at least. I get to spend time searching out people who spend their time in life trying to make other people's lifes a little better. I am a lyric person. Finding the right lyrics is inspiring, uplifting, and can change your outlook on something completely.

Today is a perfect example. I was looking for bands to book on the show and I saw one that was from Michigan. I am originally from Michigan, so I decided to take a look. I opened it up and was not all that impressed at first. Then the music played and totally turned me around. I now can not stop listening to it. I am listening to it RIGHT now. They are called To Be Juliet's Secret. (www.myspace.com/tobejulietssecret. They apparently sing about love to inspire people. Let me tell you, they have a sick beat and awesome lyrics and they seems like a cool bunch of people in the process.

Now I have come across so many other great bands. The National Rifle, Drew and the Medicinal Pen, Tim Be Told, Colin Healy and the Jetskis... and the list continues. You can check all them out on myspace.

Don't think that the only music out there is the music that you hear on the radio. Some people just haven't gotten to the right place at the right time to be spotted by some big record label. They are still out there. I have found in the past months that it is the smaller unsigned or indie artists that have the best music. It isn't the ones that have been drowned in the label pool of trying to conform to what is "cool". Try it!

~Kristin

Moving...

Moving freakin sucks! I absolutely hate moving! But again... I am doing it. I have 2 days... and know what... I was given a 3 day warning. That is it. Oh well, I am excited to move onto my next adventure. Gonna be saving some money, helping out my momma, and going to some wicked fucking concerts.

That is probably my most favorite part. I got Awesome ass Spencer Bell concert on August 15th with Nikki and hopefully Vicky. I have kick ass Eyecon weekend with Nikki and hopefully Vicky and The Nove Echo! Can not fuckin wait! Then I have a week back in the big Triple Ripple, Michigan. It has been 3 1/2 years since I went home to Michigan. Been quite a while, but I am excited. My friend Cassie is getting married and I am the bridesmaid. Lots to do... but sooooo excited to do it. I can not wait. Cross your fingers that everything works out and I get to go. WOO HOO!

Well, that is enough of this rambling... Until next time! *bow out gracefully*

A true "I hate your face" moment...

I felt it was only right to share this little tidbit with you all. Jerad Anderson... you know... from 100 Monkeys.. is the coolest person ever! I talked to him on the phone tonight because Nikki is freaking awesome and handed him her phone. We went through the normal hi's and how are you's... but then I asked him for a favor... and he came through beautifully! He told Nikki... "I hate your face." That is right... I got Jerad Anderson to say I hate your face.

That is officially going on the I hate your face list of coolests things ever! Fuckin AWESOME!

I FUCKING LOVE YOU NIKKI!

~Kristin

THE 'I hate your face' Kristin

How was I to know that a simple phrase would catch on so quickly. Everyone is now refering to me as THE 'I hate your face' Kristin. Even Jonathan Clay said it and has said he is going to continue to say it to people. It is spreading like wildfire. My friend Nichole, who actually said it to me the first time I heard it... is mad... LOL. She loves me. It is not my fault I picked it up and say it NONstop! Ask anyone I associate with. It spills out of my mouth like word vomit!

I even have random people emailing me. It is quite amusing! I got an email from someone who listened to the ArtistsOnDemand show with Jonathan Clay and emailed me wanting to know if this was me! Funny right! I thought so...

Anyway... enough about me... I hate your faces!

Random little blunders...

First off... is blunders a word!? If not... it is today! So moving on... My day was amusing. Nothing really happened... just amused at life. Yesterday I totally dropped the ball when I got an unexpected phone call from a number that probably should have been saved in my phone. It wasn't... I got stuck on stupid. Enough said. But today... I picked the ball back up, brushed it off, and moved on. I rock again!

I am doing something rather amusing right now. Nikki and myself are writing a little something something. It has me laughing out loud and startling my daughter in her sleep. That is good. You would find it amusing. Did you know they have funny drink names? Like... leg spreader and Muff Diver. Uh huh! You heard me. How about a naughty schoolgirl. This is actually very delicious. It is a fruity drink and comes with a lollipop stick out of it. Very nice touch!

Ok... nothing left to ramble about... well, plenty to... but I won't. Four Loko anyone...

A new song... by Megan

My dear friend Megan took a challenge to write a little story using song titles from the awesome 100 Monkeys. She has succeeded and may I say... it is brilliant. Here... for your viewing pleasure... her story!

I was being chased by robot timberwolves in the wasteland of Arizona. I tried to use my plastic shot gun as I did a drunken waltz and found myself in a spaceship. The scientists were waiting with some dude named gus who had a stanky leg handing me a strange diet of apple juice, cake, and, sugar and corn. They allowed me to make a long distance phonecall to my boyfriend who I call my sweet face boo boo kitty fuck before we all became sleeping giants. The next day after having a small lean breakfast and having a smoke we headed to the electric life of Las Vegas. Everyone wanted to build a house made of gold, a strange architecture idea with the money we won at the slots. After that we met an ugly girl, a junkie, and a guy name Orson Brawl who screamed “slow down” at my fast walking. I smiled with my beer in hand as I said “that’s what she said.”

Thank you Megan... that was AWESOME! And thank you Gallie for giving her the wonderful idea!

What does it really mean...

If you are reading this... you are probably aware that I say "I hate your face" a lot. The people closest to me know what it means, but it seems that lately a lot of people are getting offended. So... I thought I would break it down to you.

I hate your face... does not mean I actually hate your face. I hate your face is a term of endearment. It is equivelant to me telling you that I love you. So if you hear me tell you I hate your face... take it as a compliment. It is the best thing I could ever say to you. Do not get offended... do not think I hate you... or your face... and do not think I am calling you ugly. It's simply not true.

And imagine my happiness when I was watching the movie Role Models and one of the characters, out of no where, says "I hate your face". I don't think I have ever been so happy in my life! Just sayin...

Anyway... that is all I have to say. So if you are reading this... I HATE YOUR FACE!

~Kristin

P.S. and by the way... even though I absolutely hate her face... Nikki FAILS at posting on my blog! FAILS I tell you!

God help you...

I am sitting here reading my dear friend Nikki's blog about her thoughts... and concerns... about the crazy weekend at Eyecon that is coming up in September, and a few thoughts crossed my mind.

First off, I must say in response to Nikki's blog, that I believe I will be wearing a sign around my neck that states NO flash photography and NO Videography. I will also be making it known to... certain individuals... that if I end up on ANY youtube or myspace site doing inappropriate, sexual, or provacative things... I will laugh hysterically, while repeating over and over "Oh Shit what have I done."

But as Nikki has said... we are angels and would do no such thing! HAHAHA! In all seriousness, though, I am very much looking forward to black scrunchies... or any color scrunchie for that matter... lots of alcohol, the 'pick your poison' dish, and some great fuckin music! (Fuckin music could be taken in two ways... so let me clarify... some amazing music!)

Here is my warning though! Eyecon has NO idea what they have coming for them. The wrath of Nikki and Kristin is about to be brought down on them at full force! God help you!

~Kristin

Boredom

The definition of boredom is....

1. to weary by dullness, tedious repetition, unwelcome attentions.

I am bored!

Funny Beer Quotes

I like beer...
Do you like beer?

If you don't... you probably should not read this, because the entire thing is about beer! A few famous quotes... a few funny quotes... a few utterly random quotes. You catch my drift?

"I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they are going to feel all day." ~Frank Sinatra

"24 hours in a day... 24 beers in a case... Coincidence?" ~Stephen Wright

"When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk, we go to sleep. When we fall asleep, we commit no sins. When we commit no sins, we go to heaven. Soooo... lets all get drunk and go to heaven!" ~Brian O'Rourke

"Drinking beer doesn't make you fat, it makes you lean.... Against bars, tables, chairs and poles."

"A finer beer may be judged with only one sip... but it's better to be thoroughly sure."

"People who drink light beer don't like the taste of beer... they just like to pee a lot."

"I drink to make other people interesting."

Top 10 Reasons The Nova Echo Rocks!

The Nova Echo! They are an absolutely extrodinary band! I don't want to waste words on a long explanation!

Here it is...

TOP 10 REASONS THE NOVA ECHO ROCKS!

10. They're hot! Caleb is gorgeous... the guys are freaking fine... That's it!

9. They know how to party! On the interview on BlogTalkRadio they said they drank 2 kegs worth of beer... and might I mention four loko...

8. They are the funniest group of guys ever! Penis sheith anyone? Edible underwear? Pineapple flavored jelly bellys? That's what I though.

7. They eat Chinese while doing an interview! Chinese food is delicious, I agree. Only they can pull off actually stuffing their faces while talking on the radio! And then read their fortunes to us. (Don't forget to add 'in bed' to the end of it guys'.)

6. They rename very well known restaurants FuckDonalds! Can you figure out which restaurant this was?

5. They love swearing just as much as we do! The word fuck, shit, damn, ass, or hell comes out of their mouths at least once every sentence! And they say nipple a lot! HAHA

4. Caleb tells our wonderful friend Vicky he wants to touch her words.... HAHAHA! Her accent is seductive! LMAO!

3. They have a song with no meaning... but want the fans to voice their thoughts on what it means. EPIC!

2. Of course we have to mention the fact that the music is AMAZING! Catchy beats that make you want to dance and romantic lyrics that make your heart melt! That Caleb is a bit of a hopeless romantic I'd say!

1. They are FUCKIN AMAZING! Nuf said!

I would like to thank Nikki for helping me make this ever wonderful list of brilliant reasons The Nova Echo is the shit! I can say... they have these two fans for LIFE!

You've Done It Now...

Oh Kristin...

This is going to be dangerous LOL.

For your viewing pleasure...I'm on a boat.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5QwM4vXex7c