It's hard to smile all the time. You have to smile all the time because it's your job. You have to make the people around you happy. Why would you want to bring them down? Sometimes people need to cry, or get angry, or just not be happy. It's healthy... and how I wish I had the chance. I'm not always as hyper and happy as I see. Things eat at me. Things I can not stop.
I also hate when you get dragged down into a situation you didn't ask for. It is not a bad situation... it's actually REALLY good. It's just... you see how the grass could be greener... and you want it to be... but things like that don't happen to people like you. And getting your hopes up sucks. It turns out you are in a situation that is gonna crush you either way. A. your heart is broken and you are devestated.... B. You end up unbearably disappointed. And disappointment in someone or something is just as bad as not having them at all.
I'm being vague... but unfortunately... blogger is a little too public to name names... it would make things awkward and uncomfortable... and it would just get ruined all overa again. And I am not sure I am prepared for disappointment.