An appropriate poem for today...

I heard this poem once while watching the movie The Fifth Quarter. I think after watching the news today, this is more than appropriate. RIP little ones.

A CHILD OF MINE

by Edgar Albert Guest

I will lend you, for a little time,

A child of mind, He said. 

For you to love the while he lives

And mourn for when he's dead.

It may be six or seven years,

Or twenty-two or three.

But will you, till I call him back,

Take care of him for me?

He'll bring his charms to gladden you,

And should this stay be brief.

You'll have his lovely memories,

As solace for your grief.

I cannot promise he will stay,

Since all from earth return.

But there are lessons taught down there, 

I want this child to learn.

I've looked the wide world over,

In search for teachers true.

And from the throngs that crowd life's lanes,

I have selected you.

Now will you give him all your love,

Nor think the labour vain.

Nor hate me when I come

To take him home again?

I fancied that I heard them say,

'Dear Lord. Thy will be done!'

For all the joys Thy child shall bring,

The risk of grief we'll run.

We'll shelter him with tenderness,

We'll love him while we may,

And for the happiness we've known,

Forever grateful stay.

But should the angels call for him,

Much sooner than we've planned.

We'll brave the bitter grief that comes,

And try to understand.

A few morning thoughts...

So this morning has been an odd one. I had some... random dreams last night. My daughter was oddly cheery, and I'm working an hour early... which is kind of typical.

Here is my thinking. I have a beautiful four year old daughter (almost five in February). I have a job I enjoy; two technically. I have family and great friends surrounding me.

Do you know that phrase "I'm alone in a crowded room." That is the feeling I have this morning.

Now, I'm not complaining about life. It's just an observation. But hear me out. I'm 27. My life is not dependent on getting married or having more kids, but I kind of want it. I'm not looking to rush down the isle, or rush into a relationship right now. I'm just saying I would like the option. And by God there are limited options. I'm that person that decides that I want something or someone and that something never works out or that someone doesn't want me back. Someday I want to be wanted. I don't want to be in a relationship with someone who would rather be somewhere else.

I want someone who loves my kid like their own. I want respect, encouragement, a friend, and a lover. All wrapped into one. I think I'm afraid that I'm going to sit back and watch all of my friends go through the normal life experiences (marriage, children, careers, financial stability, etc) and I'm going to just be sitting by, alone, struggling, and just... stuck. That terrifies me.

Now, I've said it before and I'll say it again. I'm difficult. Unbelievably so sometimes. I'm even surprised by the people in my life who stay. I always say "People always leave" like P. Sawyer in One Tree Hill. The truth is, people always leave because you make it impossible to stay. I don't want to be the crazy cat lady. Partially because I dislike cats. They are cute, but I do not want to own one... or twenty. My four year old asked me today why her daddy had a girl but mommy didn't have a boy. It's pathetic when your kid notices. LOL.

I don't want to rush anything. I don't want to get married now, or even six months from now. I don't even want to rush into a relationship. I have enough things to deal with then the complexities of someone else's life twisted with mine. I just want to know... if it's ever going to happen. Is someone ever going to look at me and think, "She's the one." I doubt it. But hey, that's how I think, right? If you don't expect much, you can't get hurt.

I'm trying to balance the old me with the new me. The new me gets emotional and attached and therefore hurt. The old me didn't give a fuck. I didn't care enough or have any expectations, so therefore when someone disappointed me, it didn't hit me as hard as it does now. I didn't care enough. There has to be a happy medium right? A place where you can care, but the minute disappointment peaks around the corner you can slam your doors shut? I might have to try that.

On a side (and totally random note). 7-Eleven has these ridiculous Christmas cups that Will Ferrell designed. And once I thought "These are ridiculous" I felt like an asshole because proceeds go to charity. I suck...

I need to simplify life...

So I don't really do the whole New Year's resolution thing. It's just another way to set yourself up for failure. What does it usually entail? I'm going to lose weight. Work out more. Be healthier. Stop drinking soda. Quit smoking. Blah Blah Blah. If you do New Year's resolutions and succeed... you deserve a huge high five and some pretty medal to hang on your wall. It's hard.

BUT... this year I am going to make a life change. And I'm not going to wait until January. I'm going to do it now. I want to simplify my life. It's very vague, so therefore ANY success is a win for me.

I think sometimes people make life way more complicated than it needs to be. You tell yourself you are going to be this chill person and the next thing you know you are stressing out, ripping your hair out, running around like you've lost your head, and so on. That's me. The running around with no head person. I don't want to do that anymore. Life is too short. There are too many great things out there to enjoy.

The first way I want to simplify life is to make sure I think of at least one thing every single day that makes my day worth it. Waking up each morning is a good one. That is a given. Something different every day. What am I thankful for? Why is today a great day, despite anything that may be going wrong?

Second, try not to worry so much. I do this thing where I crawl inside my own head and allow things to build to unnecessary heights. Or I clog my filter and therefore say shit I shouldn't say or really isn't what I'm thinking, but that is the thought that escaped. I don't want to do that anymore. I want to not try and control things that are out of my control. Go with the flow.

Third, simply be thankful for what I have. I have some of the best friends in the world. Sometimes I get crazy and worry that they are going to disappear or something is going to rip us apart, because that is what I have experienced in the past. I don't want to live in the past. I don't want that. I want to just... be. I want to not worry about the "what if's" in life. Those things are what make you think irrational thoughts. What if? Well... if something happens, it is meant to happen. I hope that my small group of amazing friends is forever with me. I hope we get to be friends forever. No matter what. They all know who they are. It would shatter my world if something tore us apart and I don't want that. I love them.

Four, Just fucking relax. I think too much. Seriously. There is always thoughts running in my mind that are very... damaging. LOL. Not in a kill myself sort of way. More of the "what if" I was just talking about. I need to just relax. Let it happen. Life is full of ups and downs. Things are going to happen and it's going to feel like the end of the world. Relationships will begin and end. My heart will be broken on more than one occasion. My chest will get that empty feeling as if a part of me is missing. And no matter how hard it is... I have to realize that one day it will just... stop. I will feel better. It may leave scars emotionally, but that's what make people beautiful. All those scars shape them into the person they are. So it will suck... but it will also get better. And if it doesn't, maybe you should chase after whatever it is you lost. It's obviously meant to be a part of you in some way. Maybe not the way you had hoped, but in some way. I'm not saying you should settle... but take a moment to think. Say it's a person. Would you rather be without them completely or just rearrange your relationship with them? If it's an opportunity missed... maybe that specific one was not suppose to happen, but you shouldn't not chase your dream just because of that one thing. Relax. Let life take you. You aren't in control of it. Fate is. Trust her.

And last (for now), I just want to be happy. I have a beautiful daughter who is the center of my universe. What more could I actually ask for? She's healthy, happy, and well taken care of. I have a roof over my head, food on the table. Sometimes the bills are tight. Or I'm not real sure where gas is coming from for the week. I want to let it go. If I can't change it, I don't want to worry about it at that moment.

Simplify life. Experience things I haven't experienced. Appreciate the things I have and do. Love the people around me, flaws and all, because God knows they love me with all my flaws (I have more than plenty). I'm a difficult person. I'm a difficult person to love I think. For those people who have stuck by my side, even when I have screwed up repeatedly, I thank you. I know some of those screw ups would give full right to walk away and never look back. I would have understood if you had. So thank you so much for sticking around. I promise to actively try to improve myself. Make myself a better person for me, my daughter, and everyone in my life. If I can work on myself, maybe some will love me more. Or new people will come into my life. And maybe I won't end up the cat lady, alone the rest of my life (although... it would be ok if I did. Well... maybe dogs.). Life is short. Don't put up walls stopping yourself from doing things. Whatever happens. Go with the flow. And try not to be too disappointed if everything you ever wanted doesn't come true or happen for you. Cry it out. Shake it off and try and believe that something better will come along.

So yeah... simplify life.

Amazing Positions

MOUNTAIN CLIMBER

This is amazing. I have a thing for arms though! Strong arms. Yum!

THE CAT

A little clitoral stimulation!

THE COWGIRL

Puts the girl in a bit of control and also lets the guy relax a little. A little... not a ton! BUT... also gives him prime ass grabbing. 

Just a few. Stay tuned for more.

A Little... Oral Exam!

Admit it. You clicked on this blog because of the name? I know... I'm a genius.

Ok... ok. I'll tone down the arrogance. Thank you for tuning in. This late, Saturday night blog is about oral. Mainly, men giving great pleasure to a woman's nether region. Lady bits. A little cunnilingus, if you will.

How many men out there think they give the BEST oral exams? I bet you all raised your hands. It may be true. It may not be true. Who am I to judge without having experienced it. I will tell you this. Orgasm's stemming from this are amazing.

For those who do not know... women tend to orgasm more from oral than from actual sex. And for those who do not know why... stop trying to go down on girls. No, just kidding. It's simply because it's direct stimulation to a women's small bundle of nerves, called her clit. Are we up to speed now?

Giving a girl mind blowing pleasure with oral is not a few thrusts of your tongue and a wiggle back and forth. No no. One... we need technique. You have to know what you are doing. Ask a lesbian. She'll tell you what to do. Girls typically need a little... warming up... before sex. Otherwise sex can be painful, or really hard to reach our orgasm.

Look at it like this. Give her lady bits a kiss. No weird jabbing. Long strokes with your tongue. A little sucking. Maybe even a bit of nibbling. Take a moment to kiss the inside of her thigh. Maybe a slight break to stroke her with your hand. And if you get a little tired, press your tongue flat against her and let her do the work. I guarantee she'll rock her hips against your mouth, if she wasn't already. This is kind of like the equivalent to a girl being on top. Which is another way to give a bit of oral. Let her sit on your face. But that's another time.

Now... the most important thing is to read her body and her reactions. You'll know what she likes by her reactions. Here are a few key points as to her enjoyment.

1. Her breathing: It will pick up. Maybe a gasp here or there.
2. Temperature: Her heart rate will pick up (great cardio) and she will get hot. Maybe a little sweaty. Beads of sweat on her chest. I hear guys like that.
3. Stomach muscles clench: Her body is starting to react on it's own.
4. Grasps at your head and presses it harder into her body.
5. And finally: her body becomes frantic-like. Her rocking hips become uncoordinated. And she becomes... well.. frantic. She's almost there. She may tell you that. Scream your name. Call out to Jesus.

And then it happens. Explosion. With a great orgasm, your vision goes blurry or blacks out for a moment. Her back arches. Fists clench in the sheets, your hair, back of your head, etc. Her thighs tense and likely scissor to your head. And a good "UNFFFFFF..." escapes.

Give yourself a round of applause.

I hope everyone has experienced really good oral. Male or female alike. I have. Have you?

Keep Going

Somewhere... someone said "God only gives you what you can handle." Well... I really hope this is true. Do you ever feel like maybe it's a test to see how far you can be pushed? Right to the breaking point, but never over? Yeah... me too.

This is what I think though. I think we should try and overcome that. If things are going bad... it sucks. I know. I've been there. I AM there. But things will get better.

Say you have money problems. Look around you. Do you have a roof over your head? Some food (maybe not what you are craving, but food none-the-less) in your cupboard? Beautiful children running around? A warm place to sleep? A pillow to rest your head on? If you answered yes to ANY of these... I'd say you are better than some, maybe most.

All you have to do is tell yourself to keep going. Keep pushing forward. Don't stop. Keep going! Because when you least expect it, something will pop up and save the day and you will feel SO much better. Just keep going.

It's the End of the World... What do you do?

I know... it's not REALLY the end of the world. But think about it. What do you think you'd do if it was the end of the world? What if we were all going to simply vanish in December? Would you... go skydiving? Spend every waking moment with your loved ones? Who would you want to kiss? Hug? Shake hands with? I thought this was an interesting question, so I sent my dear friend Lisa (@LisaAODradio) a list of questions for her to answer. So now I will post hers... and mine (with a few comments on hers most likely) and see how she would spend her last days. Lisa's answers will be in Yellow... my comments... Pink! (And my answers!)

Question 1:
Who are five people you'd want to sleep with?
Lisa:
1. Austin Nichols
2. Joe Manganiello (YUM)
3. Alexander Skaarsgard (He has that nerdy thing going for him in real life)
4. Shemar Moore (You can't have him... he's mine.)
5. Michael Stagliano

Kristin:
1. Shemar Moore - He's so.... yum!
2. Tom Felton - He's a tad skinny now, but eh.
3. Kellan Lutz - He smells SO good.
4. Mekhi Phifer - He is sexy. Don't even look at me like that!
5. Tie: Vin Diesel and Tyrese - Just look at both of their arms!

Question 2:
Who are five people you'd want to kiss (But not sleep with)!
Lisa:
1. Blake Lively (Girl on girl!!!)
2. Sophia Bush
3. Rob Buckley
4. Chase Crawford
5. Josh Charles (Who?)

Kristin:
1. Jessica Alba - Epic girl crush!
2. LL Cool J - Need I explain?
3. Lebron James
4. Joe Manganiello - I may not NEED to sleep with him, but I wouldn't say no!)
5. Zac Efron - Sculpted by Jesus!

Question 3:
Who are five people you'd want to meet (in a non-sexual way)?
Lisa:
1. President Obama
2. Patrick Dempsey
3. Liam Neeson
4. Ellen Degeneres
5. Matthew Grey Gubler

Kristin:
1. President Obama - He just seems so cool!
2. Michelle Obama - Again... so cool!
3. J.K. Rowling
4. Lisa Gardner
5. Sean Connery

Question 4:
What are five things you'd want to mark off your bucket list (if you had unlimited means)?
Lisa:
1. New Years Even in Times Square (A bit cold...)
2. Backpack through Europe (Well you sure didn't hold out!)
3. Attend Olympic Games (Uh... if the world ends in December, I think you are out of luck!)
4. Swim with dolphins
5. Attend a Hollywood/NY Movie Premiere

Kristin:
1. Get married! - I know... cliche! In fun.'s words... "Who the fuck wants to die alone?"
2. Skydive - And possibly to avoid some horrific end-of-world death... forget the parachute!
3. Visit England & Italy (Can this be one?)
4. Work a red carpet premiere.
5. Make a difference in someone's life.

Question 6:
Who would you love to push off a cliff?
Lisa: Nicki Minaj (WHAT!? I love her!)

Kristin: If I HAD to... Probably... I don't know. I'd rather watch Karma take a go!

Question 7:
What is the last music you'd want to listen to?
Lisa: 100 Monkeys - NO JUDGING! (To each his own!)
Kristin: Probably a mix of Backstreet Boys and Classical!

Question 8: Which way would you want the world to end? Pick a disaster movie  - 2012, Day After Tomorrow, Dinosaur style (hehe... Lisa is scared of dinosaurs!)
Lisa: 1ST... you're an ass for that last option. 2ND... I'm going with Day After Tomorrow because my ass would light a fire and stick to it like glue!!!!

Kristin: I'd probably agree! Day After Tomorrow. Although I HATE cold! I'd have been wiped out though. I live in Florida. That wave would have taken out Florida easily!