MERRY CHRISTMAS

Merry Christmas everyone! This year was a rough one and a lot has happen. The economy took even more of a nosedive than ever and it just stretched me to my limit. Next year is looking promising and I can not wait until I am on to what it is I want to do. I have the opportunity to move to Los Angeles and live with great friends and start a new chapter of my life and I want to take it so bad. I have to make sure I have every aspect of life settled though before I go. I can't just do things on a whim like I use to. I have to think of Payton. Things seemed to be falling into place and I think it is going to be an AMAZING chapter. I am 24 and I have a feeling my life is going to start to click into place. I have my first degree with my second one in the process, Payton is getting older, I have amazing friends that are willing to support me along the way, and I can not wait. Lets do this 2010!


~K~

P.S. Maybe I've already met the man of my dreams and L.A. will allow it to work... hmmm...

I can't breathe....

It feels like there is a rock in my chest. I can't swallow. I can't breathe. It aches with the rise and fall of each strangled breathe. It aches constantly. I'm good at hiding it. I have to be. I would fall apart if I didn't. Its like a safe. It stays locked a majority of the time. Then I have those weak days where it all spills out and the pain is overpowering. It's my own fault. I walked away. I turned my back. I deserve everything and anything he throws at me. Throwing something at me would be him at least showing that he sees me. The silence is deafening. Silence is the worst. Silence lets me make my own conclusions. Silence make the pain echo. I don't let it come out often. I don't care. I have to tell myself that. Over and over and over. I don't care. The shadow is everywhere. In songs, stores, restaurants, and worst of all my mind. Its seared into my mind. I can't wipe it away. Maybe if I leave this place it will get better. 3000 miles should do it. Something tells me I'm wrong. My chest hurts. I miss him....


I don't care.
I don't care.
I DON'T CARE!

Oh how i've missed you!

That's right bitches! I'm back! It's been forever since I actually wrote a blog and didn't post a million pictures or some random hoopla! I have been way busy! Artists On Demand is going crazy with talent and we are bringing on 2 more hosts, which will mean we are up to (if you leave me out) 7 hosts, 1 random host, 1 audio guy, and then me... the media relations coordinator. At least that is the name I have assigned myself. 


What else... hmmmm... back in school. Bachelors degree, here I come! I am the proud owner of my Associates degree in Hospitality, Travel, and Tourism. Never thought I would see the day! I am not working toward my Bachelors in Communication: With a concentration in Public Relations and Mass Communication. I'm gonna rock this shit. 


I have also decided that I might move to LA.... Los Angeles... that city over there... the one with my Monkey girls in it... You know. Nikki and Vicky are moving...and if I can nail a job down pat... I am off. I will miss Payton for a few weeks while I get our life settled out there... but if I get a good paying job... it will be worth it. We are going to take that city by storm. Ikki Enterprizes bitches! Just you wait! You'll see me on the red carpet... hells yeah! 


Alright... well... I apparently have a very bright post to go make on Nikki's blog... so I am off! This is another rambling from the one and only... K (as Mr Graupner calls me)!


G'night


~Kristin~

RIP Keriann McLain

Keriann McLain

Born: November 19, 1989

Died: November 4, 2009

Keriann was the type of person everyone loved. She was kind to everyone and just wanted to live her life and have fun doing it. She held her friends close to her heart and they did the same. Everyone wanted to be around her. Her positive energy and beaming smile kept people flocking to her from every direction. 

On November 4, 2009 her world came to a halt. A tragic car accident ended the life of this beautiful person, but her soul will always live on. We can all rest assured that she is sitting comfortably up in heaven with God, watching down on us. She would want everyone to smile about her memory and not be angry or sad. She would want us to live our lives the way she would have lived hers... for ourselves and not letting anyone tell us how we should live it. 

Keriann was a friend of my families and one of my friends sister. She was always around and always smiling. She could make you feel happy with a small hug or a smirk on her face. So wherever you are watching from Keriann, thank you for all the happiness your brought me when I was with your family, the happiness you brought your friends, and the joy you were in all of their lives and your family. We will miss you and we love you. 

On a happier note...

So I have been kind of down and cranky lately. I know I haven't really portrayed it too much in my postings... but there are ENOUGH sad posts and angry posts to justify a happy one. So here I am. I am sick today... a touch of the flu I believe. With that said... I am still in a fairly good mood. I have been struggling with some relationships lately and with some inner turmoil going on. It took its toll. I was yelling at people that I had no business yelling at... treating people rudely and being mean for reasons that did not justify making people cry. I'm a bitch. Everyone knows that. But even that was bitchy for me. So I apologize. I have worked it out with most people. Things are going smoothly. I am working... 2 fan clubs, a radio show, an intership, my regular job, and have a kid running around learning new things ALL the time... so I get a little crazy sometimes.


I am so thankful for the people I have in my life. Everyone contributes a little bit differently. Like tonight... my friend Nikki totally creeped me out. She was finishing my sentences and/or saying shit at the EXACT same moment I did. It's like she knows me... she's like fucking Edward Cullen! Reads minds or something. IDK! It made me laugh though. I have another friend that has been texting me ALL day, which is something I needed from that friendship. Something to let me know its still there. Sometimes people grow apart and you can't see that reason why you became friends in the first place... sometimes you find it hard to see those connections that you made. This was one of those cases and I think that person as well as myself have finally realized that all we really need is something to remind us of those strings that pulled us together as friends to begin with. Funny thing... once you see those connections... you can't even imagine why they would disappear ever. 


*Side note... while I was writing that... Tearing Up My Heart by NSYNC started playing* kill me now!


So anyway... things seem to be looking up. November is a very busy month for me. Lots going on! Must work my butt of because Christmas is coming and I have to buy my daughter stuff! So... I'm ok... at least mentally! lol! 


~Kristin~

Free Photo Booth

This is some of the funniest shit I have ever seen in my entire life. I hope you all get a kick out of it as much as I did!









And this one is funny, but could not be embedded....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EfNR2SQs7fI

I hate it... It makes me sad...

It makes me sad when people I use to be really really close to and things become so weird and stressed that you aren't sure it can get back to how it was. My heart breaks when I think of things like that. I don't know what I want to think, I don't know what I want to do and I don't know if I CAN do it. I get so stressed out. All I can do is think hard and do what my heart says. I don't want to loose my friend. I'm trying... I just don't know sometimes. It will work out! It will work out! It will work out!

~Kristin~